Learning a musical instrument
Posted byAdam Law

I failed as a child to learn the piano. I never could get to the point of getting beyond the technical, and getting pleasure from producing music. I love listening to music, and would love to be able to play an instrument. At 57 I started guitar lessons. Now at 62 I remain unable to play a tune, though I can do all the technical drills reasonably well. I wonder if being aphantasic provides a series of barriers – inability to imagine the tunes, see the rhythms, feel the patterns of cords, and visualize progressions. Also, an inability to see mood. My daughter has synesthesia and not aphantasia. She can see the color of emotion in music and when she writes, she can sharpen the affect of her piece by tuning in on the color. For me playing remains a mechanical exercise – like rote learning. An attempt to decode music into muscle memory. I also have difficulty remembering lyrics as I have no visual association. Interestingly, I have difficulty singing and playing at the same time or listening to someone else playing and accompanying them. I am talented and facile in other areas. I continue to struggle with neuro-variance – “With what I most enjoy contented least”.

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