I have known pretty much my whole life that I have aphantasia, but found out just about at the beginning of the year that what I have has a name. Aphantasia.
I always recall this one day when I lost something. My father sat me down and asked me to close my eyes in hopes to retrace my steps and maybe find out where I had last seen the object. As one would’ve expected, everything was black.
Fast forward a few years later, I was 11 and, by that age, the idea of spirit animals intrigued me a lot. There were some videos in which the creators asked you to close your eyes and think of an animal, picture it, visualize the surroundings etc. It was all black. I gave up. I felt it was something normal for me, but that was the first time a thought passed my mind: Why was this person asking people to do something they maybe cannot do? Do people actually see when closing their eyes?
For me, I can only see when in a reverie since I collect the colors and information all around me to form a picture. If I close my eyes, everything is pitch black. The only time I can faintly visualize something with the corner of my eye is when I’m extenuated and about to fall asleep. But when I concentrate my eyes on the picture, it disappears.
Other than that, I dream just fine and often as well. People are actually surprised upon hearing the amount of details I can retain from my dreams. I usually remember almost everything.
And as a plus, I have met people with aphantasia and most of them were artists(writers or painters). I love to believe that, devoid of a third eye, we chose to lay out our thoughts on a piece of paper. 🙂 I don’t know how I would act if I could visualize stuff – not the same, probably. I like it that I have aphantasia.