Should I be concerned with my imagination ?

Hello everyone, sorry if this has weird formatting I’m using my phone instead of my laptop.

I have a very vivid imagination, to the point I did the test and came out being  hyperphantasic. Now, that’s not really a problem, but I want to ask the peeps here with better experience, should I be concerned with how bad it’s getting? 

Ever since I was a child I would often get lost to the point my family called me Houdini, whenever I got lost it was usually because I kept thinking of going to find something I didn’t know what but I always wanted something, this lead to me being scolded severely for being an escape artist.

As I grew older when I entered my second grade of  primary school I discovered the internet and became addicted to putting my headphones on and staying on my laptop listening to music and watching cartoons (mostly anime episodes on YouTube) and then just like that, I started imagining my own characters and stories.

Strangely for this to happen I don’t have to close my eyes, the trigger back then was music I would listen to music and suddenly I was seeing very clear images and stories happening, as if it was a movie theater, they are so clear I can recall some scenes from this time period even now. 

When I grew older I got a phone and I started listening to music in the car and school, I remember this one time I was with my dad and he asked me why I was smiling, I didn’t even knew I was doing so until he pointed it out, turns out just like most people would while watching a movie, my expressions changed with the (imaginary) movie in my head.

My mother grew desperate at some point and smashed my headphones on the floor, it was very shocking for me… it felt like a family member had just been killed right in-front of me.

Nowadays (I’m 18) I no longer need the music, sometimes while I’m eating with my family, I find myself watching movies in my head again. My sister and mother call me out to ask me something but I can’t hear nor see them at all. It’s strange, I’ve caught myself doing that way too many times, should I be concerned? It’s like I can’t hear nor see them at all. 

For anyone wondering, yes, I’ve written some down, it’s so convoluted at this point I could write a trilogy of books. 

And if there’s anyone here who games, my situation is a bit like the one in the game Omori, where the protagonist spends most of the time in his fantasy land, difference is… I spend all my time in fantasy land. 

It’s hard for me to make friends and even talk to family because my head is constantly putting interesting films to watch and the characters have voices and there’s soundtracks and everything. 

At this point I’m kind of wishing I could spend all time in there… just chilling and watching movies in my head.

i really should stop.

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Deeply in touch with yours!

You’ve been using your hyperphantasia to *escape* the harsh reality around you. Now you’ve grown up, though very young (as my daughter), it’s time for you to learn how to *confront* with your (psycho) trauma, then to transform it into your strength. You may easily enter the trance state of hypnosis/meditation, so let’s give them a try. 

> I’m kind of wishing I could spend all time in there… just chilling and watching movies in my head.

Don’t stop there! You’ve been there for decades. Now’s the time for you to bring them out so that the whole world can know about you and yours. Be an artist, an activist, or do anything to step out, bring them out. God’s brought you an internal paradise for you to grow up in secure, not for you to be pessimistic! You cannot hide there forever. Sooner or later, you must face the problems from which you’ve hidden. So, let’s learn to face them from now. 

Do you know Kim Noble? I don’t mean you have DID, but she’s a very motivative example of how one can transform ones trauma into such a useful thing like art. Eg. “The Artist with Multiple Personalities”: https://youtu.be/u8Oh1L1aN8M?t=147