Mind Is Blown

I am completely beside myself!!!! I found out tonight that I have multi symptom aphantasia……. I never knew I was that different yet I always knew. I always knew it was more difficult for me to learn something from reading or remember lines in a play. But I never understood why I can’t remember my kids when they were younger….. until today. I am rethinking my whole life. Tonight I’ve read that aphantasia is not a hindrance. I disagree. I feel that we who have it learn our way in the world differently and the world is not set up for us. I feel that that in itself is a hindrance. Now that I know what my condition is I will never forget it. 

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OK if you look at postings you will see that some people react like you to the diagnosis of Aphantasia and others are just happy to find like minded people.


But it’s also a gift for those who otherwise might have PTSD. Pluses and minuses, always.

Hi Michael,  Unlike you it never registered with me that it was harder for me to learn, but since I’ve found out that I’m aphantasic and have been talking to other people who can visualise I realise how much easier it is for them.   At first I thought they might just see a still picture but some of the things they can do seem like Science Fiction!   It hit me even more to learn they can see words and numbers too.   Doing mental maths or spelling a word out to someone must be a walk in the park when you can see it in your head!                                                     It’s been a few weeks since I found out and I’m beginning to come to terms with it.                                          I try to think of disadvantages of visualising and focus on them.    Surely it must be exhausting having so much stuff happening in your head all the time?       If you read or hear something distressing, how worse must that be if you can visualise it too?    I’m sure my life is all the better for not having awful things pop into my head.

Maybe you also have SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory) if you can’t remember past events. I have this as well as aphantasia and I think it is SDAM that is the more debilitating and isolating condition. “SDAM refers to a lifelong inability to vividly recollect or re-experience personal past events from a first-person perspective”.

We learn our way in the world by coping with what actually IS rather than what we imagine it should be. There is nothing wrong in being different – if only folk could understand we are ALL different in some way and just accept that as a fact and get on with it as best we can with the tools we have and the cards life deals us.