I feel very limited by the aphantasia. I don’t see any pictures, I don’t feel any smell and I don’t hear any sounds when my eyes are closed. In addition, I am very disoriented. the only thing I can see are black backgrounds with white clouds and flickering lights in white and sometimes purple. I would like to remember a lot of things visually, but I can’t, I always need photos. I am very creative, but I can only paint with templates or directly in nature. From memory, this is not possible. I like to meditate a lot, but I can’t create images, I have to think everything from old memories in my head, which is becoming more and more difficult. Coping with anxiety through psychotherapy is impossible because I can’t visualize anything. Hypnosis also fails.
I miss it so much and I don’t know what I can replace this missing visualization power with.
I feel like I’m trapped in a dark hole, because I can no longer bring out wonderful impressions and everything fades more and more.