After first hearing about aphantasia yesterday, I have begun to go deep down the rabbit hole to learn as much as possible. On reddit, I came across the related concept of Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM) and, even moreso than aphantasia, learning about how other people suffer from this issue and also understanding the likely underlying root cause (total or near-total aphantasia) is bringing me comfort beyond belief.
SDAM has been the cause of much suffering in my life – though I have come to better terms with it as I have grown older. I am now 44. I still feel sadness though about my inability to remember my life, so to speak. And I have also felt a lot of guilt over the years for how this has impacted people that I love and care about. People have often felt hurt about how easily I can lose touch with them when we are separated and, honestly, how little I miss them. I have learned some tools to overcome these challenges, with time, which is to quite literally force myself to be much more mindful about maintaining connections even if I may not feel like it or otherwise think about it.
I don’t know what I am looking for here, or why I am posting. I think I am just quite eager to connect with other people who can relate and understand to the very complex feelings that accompany SDAM, as I have never met anyone else like me in this way.