I have no idea what I look like…

DiscussionsCategory: QuestionsI have no idea what I look like…
Lori de Wet asked 5 days ago

Hi. Im a 47 year old woman and I know that I don’t have aphantasia, but something else is definitely going on for me. For my entire life I have been unable to picture myself in my mind. I have literally NO idea what I look like. When I look in the mirror, I know that is me. I could look at a photo with 100 people in it and i could point myself out no problem. I can even recognize when someone I meet resembles me. But to close my eyes and think of what I look like is impossible. It goes further. I can’t picture the people I love either. It’s extremely difficult/impossible to picture in my mind my mom, my dad, my brother, my husband etc. The strange thing is, I can easily imagine people that I’m not close to. I can close my eyes and see the barista who makes my latte every day. I can see my colleagues. My neighbors. But for me to try to picture myself or my loved ones in my mind just isn’t possible. For my entire life I have been told this is just nonsense for some Freudian emotional issue or that I’m just being silly. I’m desperately reaching out because I certainly can’t be the only one with this? I’ve looked it up online but I’ve never found anything. Posting here is the beginning of my trying to answer this.

Jennifer McDougallJennifer McDougall Staff replied 5 days ago

Hey Lori, when you say you "can imagine people you are not close too" how vivid are these imaginations? Are the images and accompanying sensory imagery as clear as if the Barista were making you your morning cup of coffee in the present? What's the frequency with which you interact with your Barista? Every day? A few times a day? Once a week? Once a month? Could you describe your relationship with these people: Baristas, Colleagues, Neighbours? Are they pleasant and largely friendly relationships? This is a new one for me, I have not heard of this before. I know that many aphants describe an inability to produce sensory imagery related to their own reflection and loved ones, but this experience often extends to people they are not close with too. I hope you find the answers you are looking for or the very least, someone who can relate.

2 Answers
Rachel CicconeRachel C answered 5 days ago

I’ve never heard of an experience like that before, but I’m so sorry people brushed off your concerns with you ‘just being silly’ and/or some Freudian BS. Whatever you realize it to be, the community is here for you.

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