Recently, I was in discussion with one of my friends about sexual attraction and aphantasia. Has anyone got any experience with asexuality/demisexuality and aphantasia? Also how do other people find aphantasia affects their ability to fantasise or sex drive?
I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’ve realized my sexual attraction just isn’t the same as other people; I can’t fantasize about being with that person. I can’t see myself protecting them from danger, being intimate with them, etc. So I’ve personally never dated anyone or really felt any attraction towards anyone (and I’m turning 20 tomorrow).
I’ve wondered if I’m on the aro/ace/demi spectrum. I have other ace friends I talk to them about stuff, but none have aphantasia either, so it isn’t fully the same. However, I have heard other aphants being married and being in relationships and such, so having aphantasia doesn’t automatically mean being asexual. It is possible though asexuality is more common in aphants?
One of my friends is a lesbian and is also asexual. She always talks about longing to be with girls, but I have never felt that longing before to relate to her. It’s overwhelming for her, but it’s something I’ve never felt, and I don’t think I ever could feel. It’s strange, feeling that disconnect for love.
But Hannah, you’re not alone. You can also DM me if you want to talk more about things.
This is an interesting question, much like most Aphant related ones as we all grasp to understand our minds that are not as we have been led to believe all our lives.
I was recently discussing Aphantasia with a friend who is a non-aphant and she was asking if I had ever been in love. I replied that of course I had, i’ve been with my partner for over 30 years after all! But the more she described what she believed as the fellings of being in love, the more I wondered if I ever really had been in love at all, or if I actually just believed I had, because that was what other people did.
Do I have a sex drive? Yeah, of course I do, but maybe not as pronounced as other people, I enjoy sex, but it is not something I strive for in life.
Can I fantasise about sex? That’s an issue, not really, in about the same way as I can imagine anything without actually seeing it in my mind. One interesting thing I have found is that I find audio pornography more arousing than video pornography, bit of a shame that it is so hard to find (ooh-err madam!).
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