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Nyila F

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Posted byNyila F
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Hello, I’m 25 and just realized I have aphantasia. At least, I think I do. When I close my eyes, I see gray/black. I can only see the literal back of my eyelids. So if you ask me to imagine an object, physically I do not “see” anything directly in front of me. But then how do I know what the object looks like? I feel like I can almost picture it further back in my mind. It’s more of a concept? 
If you asked me to imagine my mother, I know what she looks like. I can pick details about her skin, her eyes, what she usually wears, etc. but it doesn’t feel like a whole image? I would have to think of those things individually to “visualize” it. 
So I think I may be on the spectrum of aphantasia? Does it make a difference if my eyes are open vs closed? I guess if I can’t tell if I do or do not,  it means I probably have it to some degree. I really only discovered this today, like, an hour ago lol. I’m seeing my therapist Monday and will ask if she knows anything about it. But it’s a bit fascinating either way, because I think I’ll be able to explore how my own mind works better than before!