Aphantasia and mourning
My first post and it’s rather sad, sorry.
My grandad died last week on his 93rd birthday. My father was not close to his parents so we didn’t really see them very much and I don’t have photos or videos of me with them. My Nanny died ten years ago and I’ve been trying to remember her and him. I remember thinking I miss her laugh but I can’t remember what that was like.
As well as just wanting to get that off my chest, I guess I’m hoping other people with aphantasia have something they do to help remember people they have loved and lost and would be willing to share?
Most of my memories come from remembering something I told myself to remember, they are little more than echoes or stories.
Thanks for reading up to here,
All the best
How they made me feel throug out my life is how I remember them that I have lost. Some of the strongest feelings come from moments of growth or understands we shared. I have never heard nor seen them as I remember them but with my eyes open I can sorta see there face superimposed in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I undestand what that feels like, having lost my father to cancer, though it was some years ago.
I never felt badly about needing to look at photographs to remember what deceased friends and family look like because I never, until this past month, even knew that "seeing" people or other things in your mind was even possible. Well, clearly it’s not for you nor for me.
So my memories of my father are thoughts and photo books. That’s it.
I am also sorry for your loss. I dont have the ability to remember my loved ones, or the happiness I felt with them. They are just gone, but I also can’t feel the pain that I felt when I first learned of their loss. I keep electronic picture frames in my home with scrolling pictures of my family at all ages and beautiful places I have been and everyday I enjoy re-enjoying them.
I know I loved my grandpa and that is comforting. I also know that my grandpa would want me to live my life in the present moment and not caught up in the past. Since I can’t possibly live in the past, I am blessed. some days it makes me sad, but a benefit of my symptoms is that I can move forward and live life how he would have wished.
That is what helps me.