Aphantasia and Body Dysmorphia
1 min readBySam Mohite
I'm new to the community so I apologize if this overlaps another discussion!
Growing up I have always grappled with body dysmorphia -- the image of my body has never existed as one thing to me and I have alwasy struggled with "seeing" myself as I really am or as others see me. I tend to have vastly different ideas of what my body looks like day to day, mood by mood. It varies from surprising myself with how good I look in a mirror to actively avoiding reflections because it looks like a stranger staring back I am realizing as I age that my aphantasia and consequential inability to visualize myself likely exacerbates my experience of dysmorphia.
Is this something others in the aphantasia community can relate to?
Do you think aphants have a different relationship with oursevles and our physical bodies compared to those who can close their eyes and see themselves clearly?
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Neal White•recently
Interesting question. I've never really thought about it.
I guess I don't actually have an idea of "what my body looks like". I look in the mirror to see if I need to comb my hair, for example, but after I leave the mirror, I don't really think about my appearance at all. That's not to say I don't notice my body; in the shower the other day, I noticed how muscular my legs have become, now that I've been cycling on a regular basis. However, I have no visual mental model of my legs to update, just the fact: My legs look pretty good for an old fat guy.
Generally, if I don't see it, I don't think about it.
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Ian Ziegler•recently
I cannot say I feel this way, myself is easy to see everyday, I don’t have self blindness.
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Miriam Baumgartner•recently
I never thought about this until I lost a significant amount of weight when I was in my 50s. People tell me how small I am and I don't feel any different than when I was much heavier. A good friend of mine wears a clothing size larger than I do, and I just don't get it. When I look at her I can't imagine that I'm smaller.
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Martha MacTavish•recently
Connecting names and faces has been a huge issue all my life. Many people have been offended. Body dysmorphia became an issue in the past few years after losing 40 pounds. From size 14 to 10 and I feel no different. I look in the mirror and admire my shape but forget as soon as the image is gone. Its confusing.
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Gina Miller•recently
lol, I think I am opposite of you. When I see myself in the mirror I think I look pretty dang good for my age (67) but if I look at a recent photograph I'm shocked at how I look. It definitely keeps me motivated to watch what I eat and move more. So I guess as I age and change I still 'see' my younger self.
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Myra Sontheimer•recently
YES! I'm always surprised when I catch my reflection. I know it's me, but my visual memories of myself are based on photos I have seen repeatedly. I have never liked looking in the mirror much; it always feels a little wrong. I do 100% know it's me, so this is not a delusion or anything.
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Brandy Scott•recently
Exactly this! I know it's me, I don't think it's someone else. but it's always a bit of a surprise. "Oh, that's what I look like!" And it's slightly different every time. The same with people I work with, or know well. I am aware it is them (terrible prosopagnosia with people who I'm not close to though), but it's just a tiny surprise often 'exactly' what they look like - I base my memories off their photos, not actual interactions. Why is that?
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Marie Arias-Stein•recently
Hi Sam - I absolutely relate to this, and have wondered the same thing!
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