Aphantasia & EMDR

Anything that requires any degree of "picture this..." is a non-starter for me, no exceptions. Having tried those, I only get more frustrated and that is counter-productive. You can accomplish something similar, based on my own experience, if you are open to approved psychedelic therapy under supervision of a professional. It is the dissociative property of those tools that helps people to objectively look at their trauma instead of emotionally. It seems like EMDR is a way of training your brain to disassociate from a feeling through distraction. I've always felt disassociated, though. A way of helping me to turn abstraction into emotional truth was helpful. I don't know how to explain it other than that, you might know that something is logically true, but then you get into a state where you /feel/ its truth, and the intensity of that feeling is what is freeing. You just /know/ it is true because of the depth of that feeling. But, for me, maybe as a "perk" of aphantasia, that strength of memory is fleeting, so I have to sometimes remind myself that it happened. :) I've had and have seen similar experiences with people who talk about what they think as they think it. Maybe you can't visualize something happening, but you can say it out loud and describe what it would be that you would be seeing, if you could see it. Talk about the trauma out loud and then talk about the action you would be doing through visualization: "I feel scared because of ____, and would move my eye this direction this many times, and again, and again... I feel _____, and I would do _____." Perform the action like you are in a play as you say it. The goal is, usually, to absolve yourself from any sense of responsibility for what happened to you that you cannot control, and to believe in that lack of control, and be okay with it, knowing that a lack of control then doesn't mean you have a lack of control now. Lastly, meditation can be great because all we see is the blank void of nothingness, something people who don't have aphantasia have to strive for, and we just have it from the beginning. The idea isn't to "stop thoughts," but to not have emotional attachment to thoughts. The trick is that, usually after the 20 minute mark of doing movements and breathing exercises to stay relaxed, the longer you stay in that state, the more dysphoric meditation can feel. At about 30-40 minutes, you might feel completely separated from everything, even yourself, but if you are used to that feeling, it likely will not bother you, but it could be profoundly disturbing to someone with hyperphantasia. Sorry for the information dump. Excited to be here. :P

Read the book “The Body Keeps the Score” It is very thorough explanation about PTSD written by a psychiatrist who started treating veterans and after years of experience in PTSD treatment.

I have noticed deep and powerful transformation as a result of EMDR and IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy. Both can rely heavily on language around visualization for sure. I have assumed for most of my life that that language was metaphorical, and have always translated what I "see" internally based on what I know/feel/hear/smell/taste instead. I would say having a therapist who is aware of, and sensitive to aphantasia could lead to a better experience. For me, what I noticed most throughout EMDR is a change in how my body feels more than anything. As I moved through the treatment I noticed changes in the embodied experience of recalling traumatic memory. At first I felt a lot of nervous system activation, and by the end I almost felt joyful recalling the memory. For those who have less interoception happening than I do, or less awareness of their personal style of "knowing", I could see EMDR feeling like a waste of time.

Hi Michael, I did EDMR briefly and got no benefit from it. I ended up quitting therapy early because I couldn't see anything but at the time I didn't know I was aphantasic.

Hi Michael, I’m a fellow aphant currently doing EMDR. I see zero imagery when I’m awake so I’ve been focusing on the senses of the memories. Sometimes the scenes start slipping away from me so I occasionally have to remind myself to stay there. Regardless, I definitely notice improvement in my reactivity to triggers.

Michael, I’m currently doing EMDR treatments for PTSD. After the first 3 sessions I had to explain to my therapist that I have aphantasia. She had no idea what it was and thankfully talked to other psychologists who have worked with clients who have aphantasia. My PTSD was from a car accident. She was trying to have me visualize back to the accident which I was unable to do. She also tried me to feel the emotions of the accident or my fears. I was unable to do that either as I know longer ‘feel’ anything. Due to having a concussion also I was unable to watch the ball going across the screen but I was able to do the audio and zapper. We focus on the sensations that I feel when doing the actual therapy instead such as fuzziness in head, eyes fluttering, holding my breath, twitching, throat closing. Once those physical symptoms surface I then repeat the my positive statements I’m working on such as It’s over, I am safe now. Honestly I’ve done 18 sessions now and at first I didn’t think it was working but now that we are focusing on the here and now, I usually have a rise in panic attacks for a day or two and then a break through. 8 months ago I couldn’t even sit in the drivers seat, then I was able to graduate as a passenger but still having severe panic attacks where I would scream, hiss and cry uncontrollably. Now I am able to drive up to 20 minutes. I have been doing indirect breathwork and honestly have found more success with that.

I found EMDR to be very annoying. Some of that was probably because I have aphantasia and could not keep what I was meant to be processing in my brain while also doing the bilateral stuff. The other part was that I have doubts that the bilateral stuff actually does anything other than be a distraction for people who have very vivid images while desensitizing them to thinking about the trauma. If you have PTSD, you might consider Prolonged Exposure (PE) or Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT). PE relies heavily on telling the story and hearing your story. By hearing it over and over and also talking about it with a therapist you get to the point where you are no longer as triggered by simply thinking about the trauma. As it is designed there is a not a lot of visualizing. CPT involves quiet a bit of writing and finding "stuck points" or beliefs that were created or reinforced by the trauma that are unhelpful in the present. There isn't any visualization really unless you bring it into the story. Both are evidence based for trauma and have actually more research behind them than EMDR. They are very effective if done correctly. I don't know the research on doing them on yourself, but knowing the treatments, I'd be more likely to try CPT than EMDR or PE as a "self-treatment." Both PE and EMDR involve desensitization or habituation as a way of reducing trauma symptoms. However, there is a risk with both of re-traumatization if you get the emotion too high. CPT is more about cognitive restructuring.