How did you first discover aphantasia?

Ive known about aphantasia for years, and I've always known that I don't have it. What I didn't realise until very recently was that it's a whole spectrum. I was listening to my favourite content creators discuss the levels of their phantasia when I became very interested in the topic. I have a never-ending inner monologue that drives me insane, but keeps me company at all times. I can visualise very loosely. It's less of an experience and more of a single, warped, dark, hard to understand image, when I remember something I saw in my past. My factual and spacial memory is not good either, which doesn't help, but through aphantasia network I've learned that those are different categories of memory. I'm an artist. I've always felt so inadequate when it comes to coming up with ideas and working quickly, compared to my artist friends. Now I understand why I often go through multiple re-paints on the same canvas trying to decipher what I want when people I know can simply paint start to finish. It's not that I don't spend time planning. I probably spend a lot more time planning than the people I'm thinking of do. It's that I can't picture how I want the work to come out, so I have to simulate it, and rethink it many times over on paper. I've realised that the content creator who I was listening to discuss their aphantasia, who is also an artist, has a very similar creative process to me. I think their aphantasia shows strongly in their art and in their creative process, once you know they have it. And that was comforting to me, that I and so many other people could love their art despite their inability to plan it out in their mind's eye like other people. It takes them longer to toy with ideas just like me, but their art comes out just as beautiful and creative. Once again, I do not have aphantasia, but I do find myself leaning closer to that side of the visualization spectrum, especially when the visualizations are meant to be fully created within my mind. Did you know that some people can visualize math equations in their mind? I'd forget one number as soon as I move to the next. So thank you aphantasia network for this journey of understanding myself, who always thought I was "slower" than others, or just incapable of being creative, when that's the thing that drives me the most in the world. Your creativity is not bound by your imagination.

I only heard of aphantasia recently after listening to a podcast where a guest talked a little about it.I am 63 years old and recently retired from a job that required me to develop 2D drawings and ideas into 3D working products. I did this quite successfully I think, but found the process very difficult especially when trying to visualise the finished design. After listening to the podcast I started to think about it and asked my wife if she could imagine clear pictures or descriptive memories which she said yes of course. I take a lot of photos which at a glance I can remember exactly where they were taken and who I was with but couldn't for the life of me remember what I was wearing or anyone else for that matter. Not sure if it is aphantasia or something else with my but it has got me thinking a lot.

I am 40, and I discovered I have aphantasia three days ago when an individual in a message board said they were curious if hallucinogens would have any impact on him since he couldn't create mental images. When other people were shocked to hear this, I realized "wait, that describes me." I'm a complete blank on the phantasia spectrum. Since then I have realized that this also extends to being unable to imagine smells, touch, or the feeling of movement. I do, however, have an acute ability to hear sounds, including other people's voices and music. E.g. I can vividly hear a song with the singer's voice and music or play a movie scene in my head with the character's distinct voices, just without any accompanying visuals. The days since have been full of learning a lot about the condition, and using it to shape my understanding of myself. Suddenly it makes sense that as a kid I enjoyed copying art, but not creating my own. Or that meditation involving imagining a beach, flame, flower, etc. were never effective for me (I wasn't just doing it wrong!). While I understand why for some this discovery is accompanied by a feeling of sadness, if anything, aphantasia helps me to be more present and to live in the now, and that's a good thing.

I have realised that I am somewhat different from when I was a kid, during many conversations about cinematic versions of books we read with friends. They all seemed to have had images of characters in their had, and said things like "this is not how I imagined this." So, for about 20 years, I kind of knew that I struggled in a different way than some people - with drawing, reading (descriptions of people make 0 sence to me), as well as writing. Recently, my wife and I started a new hobby - making jewellery, and I realised the striking difference between us. She would come to class with a clear image of what she wanted to make, both on paper and in her head, so for her, the only question was technique. For me, visualising the final thing and how to get to it was literally impossible, so creating somewhat unique pieces was not exactly on the cards. So, I started by copying other people (I do not sell my pieces), saved a ton of references, and then just figured out stuff by working with what I had and remaking them until I liked them. That, btw, led to limiting, or, rather, pointing me to the media I need to use - without a clear picture, it's impossible for me to work with right away metal, so I chose wax (either carving or modelling). Once I started explaining my struggles to our friends, one of them said, "Wow, I think I read about it. It has a name!" And this is how I found out that I am part of a huge community of people who experience the world the way I do!

Hello all, I learned about aphantasia recently when talking with a friend. I am mid 40s and in awe at what I'm learning. I am not still not sure if I have aphantasia or not. From my research, there is a lot of diversity in what people experience, and it seems like there are multiple dimensions to the different experiences, not just a single spectrum of 'vividness'. I feel like I have data stored as an image, I can think about the image, but I don't have the experience of seeing it. There is no after-image, reflection, hologram, ghost, or anything like that. Maybe it's a concept of the image? I have poor autobiographical memory. I also don't have the sensation of hearing, smelling, or tasting in my mind. My mind was blown when I realized people can visualize much more realistic things. I still have a hard time believing hyperphantasia is real. I am extremely fascinated by all this (possibly slightly obsessed even) and enjoying learning about all the different ways people experience things in their minds.

Hi everyone, I’m Laura, and I discovered I have aphantasia at 39, completely by chance! I was listening to a podcast with David Eagleman where he mentioned having aphantasia himself and that Pixar tends to hire many creatives with the condition. When he described being unable to voluntarily see images with his eyes closed and explained what phantasia and hyperphantasia are, I was absolutely stunned to learn that most people can actually see visuals and colours in their mind. For me, it’s just darkness. So much makes sense now. When I’ve tried to recall childhood memories or picture my childhood home, I always described it as “dark” or said I couldn’t remember, but I could recall feelings, songs, or smells associated with those times. I now think this is aphantasia at work. I used to believe I had a childhood I wanted to block out, which never quite added up. Yes, there were ups and downs and challenges, I had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD until last year, and I’m also suspected to be on the autism spectrum. It’s been quite a revelation. Learning about aphantasia has been another piece of the puzzle, but I feel like I’m discovering so much about myself, my brain, and my potential. Honestly, I feel like the best version of myself through this process. I’m really eager to learn more about aphantasia and connect with others who experience it. Looking forward to being part of this community! Laura​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

For me, it goes back to an incident in elementary school where a teacher was trying to teach us to use mental imagery as a memory trick to help memorize things. She told us to ‘picture a flower riding a bicycle’ and hook that mental image to whatever it was we were supposed to remember. It made so little sense to me, how was adding this whole other string of random concepts to the list of things to remember supposed to help at all? And that moment really stuck with me, as I began to suspect that ‘picture it in your mind’ meant something to most people that it didn’t to me. It’s nice to have better language for it these days, after years of trying to explain to people that I thought in ‘words, not pictures’.

I discovered the 'difference' long ago in conversations with friends. I found the name and definition in self-analytical conversation with DeepSeek

Hi everyone, I'm Blake. I'm turning 25 in a few days and work in biopharmaceuticals, although I'm working my tail off (currently to no avail) to enter the world of biomedical research. I learned I have aphantasia today when a coworker who learned they had it over the weekend was telling me about it because they thought I would find it interesting. I always thought that was the default. I grew up surrounded by art and art theory, so the closest I get to visualization is planning how I would draw/paint what is being described to me. This whole time, people have been seeing movies and photos in their brain while seeing something else with their eyes, it makes absolutely no sense to me. We only have one set of eyes-- how can you possibly "see" two things at once, at the same time, and hold both images in your mind? I can't understand how anyone can visualize literally any sensation they aren't actively experiencing. I have a really large immediate family, and asked all of my siblings hoping at least one of them shared the experience. It turns out it's just me. Anyways, it's nice to see there's an online community so I don't have to mentally spiral on my own :)

I didn't discover I had aphantasia until I was 65. I was reading a piece online by Blake Ross, who's the co-creating the Mozilla Firefox, where he was describing a condition he has called aphantasia. I had never heard of it but as he described it I realized that's me! For the first time I was able to start connecting the dots as to why I felt different from others. Why for example when I meet a familiar face out of context, I'm scrambling to come up with their name or where I know them from, something others seem to do so easily. My autobiographical memory is terrible, and I always wondered why others like my wife could recall the past in vivid detail as if they could go back in time and "see" a memory. I started researching aphantasia further and feel I finally have some answers as to why I think differently. With this better understanding, I'm now on a journey of experimentation with tools to support my memory and learning, including developing a Personal Knowledge and Information Management (PKIM) application customized to my needs.

An Introduction Hello I’m Eric. I am 45 and hail from Southern California near the US/Mexico border. I have a Bachelor’s in Food Science from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. Majority of my work experience is in Agriculture, Construction and commercial food production. My main hobby is modifying cars. I received an ADHD diagnosis in 1990. I received an Autism diagnosis in 2018. My introduction to Aphantasia was the book Autistic Thinking by Dr Alondra Rogers which I read in 2024. I thought that a Nebulous Void was an accurate description of my experience. I also strongly suspect I have dyscalculia after doing more research as I have difficulty getting lost in math problems. Nice to meet everyone.

I'm 49 Years old from Sydney Australia. I work as a professional Photographer & Videographer (surprise). Last week I was meditating and the instructor on my App said "Imagine a Re Rose in full detail, the petals the different hues of red, etc." And then went on to say "really imagine it like you can actually see it in front of your eyes. Like you can touch it." And I thought surely this is a joke. No one can do that. You don't actually see things when you imagine something. You grasp the concept and have an understanding of it but actually visualising. No way. So I asked family and friends and all of them said that yes they could actually visualise when prompted to imagine a Rose, All of them in varying degrees. Then I described what I am experiencing to AI and asked what's wrong with me and that's how I landed here... Still stumped, but I am slowly wrapping my head around it. A lot of my life and my choices in life make a lot more sense now. Like why I was drawn so much to photography. I'm not really grieving, just absolutely fascinated by it all. I wonder if there are any traits that Aphantasts have in common. Thank you so much for this website, it is a massive help for me in navigating my way through this.

A few weeks ago at a small family gathering, my son asked us to close our eyes and picture an apple. The group responded with descriptions of colors, light and dark, details. I had no idea what they were talking about. I'm 77.?error=INVALID_TOKEN

A few weeks ago at a small family gathering, my son asked us to close our eyes and picture an apple. The group responded with descriptions of colors, light and dark, details. I had no idea what they were talking about. I'm 77.

There are two points in my life i could pull up equally here, so i'll do just that. First, when i was a child, my parents took me to a hypnotist, i dont remember what they tried to achieve, but i remember one thing: the hypnotist told me to visualize a red ball rolling up a hill, i asked her «What do i do if i cant see the ball?». However this wasnt really the awakening, as i didnt think much of it afterwards. The second one was when discussing imagination with some people on discord, i was already aware of the word aphantasia, and said that i had it, but thats the first time i realized how most people think, they said they could literally, not figuratively, see everything they thought of as like another layer of reality. Thats the first time i heard what people mean by visualization, it sounded like a superpower to me honestly, i still cant believe it is THE NORM! Hallucinating at will? How?! The weirdest part of my experience, to me at least, is that i can make complex «images» full of detail, both abstract and not, then manipulate them like a god, but i am not able to see these things myself? I can make a guy kick the sun out of the sky, but i am not allowed to see it? Its honestly a bit unfair. Most of my thoughts are what others would call an inner voice (just without a single sound), my thoughts often consist of words, but i can freely switch between the invisible images and the soundless words, its weird, very weird.

I didn’t really thinking or know about it until my wife and I were talking about reading and I said I struggle with staying with a book. I didn’t know why until she asked me about the visuals in my mind, and I said what do you mean…..she said don’t you see what you’re reading in your mind? I didn’t know that’s how you read a book. I didn’t even realize that you pictured the story. To me it was always just words, and I’ve always struggled with finishing books. She’s a big reader and I wanted to do something with her and we just kind of stumbled on it.

I didn’t know I had aphantasia until early 2025. I was listening to a CBC program, half-paying attention, when the host invited listeners to imagine an apple. I paused and tried. Nothing appeared. No colour, no shape, no suggestion of an image. I tried again, then with other familiar things, but there was still nothing. Just awareness without a picture.When I told my husband, he was genuinely startled. He couldn’t believe I didn’t see anything at all. I, in turn, couldn’t believe that he did. He described images in full detail, even colours that seemed to accompany certain sounds. I remember thinking that he must be speaking metaphorically. Surely people didn’t actually see things in their minds.I called my daughter. She was in her forties and, as it turned out, just like me. She couldn’t picture anything either. When she realized that others truly could, anger surfaced, anger at something unnamed, unrecognized, and therefore unmourned. I felt it too. All those years of being told, “Why don’t you remember that?” or “Didn’t you see it?” We had taken those words at face value, assuming they were figures of speech. We said that ourselves, I can picture that, I see what you mean, never suspecting that other people meant it literally.When my daughter’s husband learned this, he paused and said, “Oh. That explains a lot.” My husband began noticing small things as well. He saw how I sometimes hesitate before opening a cupboard, or reach into the one beside it before finding what I want. It’s a fleeting misstep, I quickly adjust, but I don’t have an internal picture guiding me to the right place. I’ve always thought of it as a quirk, nothing more.There are moments when I feel a quiet resentment at the advantage others seem to have. But more often, I notice what my daughter and I don’t carry. We don’t replay scenes from the past. We don’t relive arguments in sharp detail. We don’t sit with old hurts, revisiting them again and again. We rarely stay angry for more than a few minutes. Our inner worlds are calm, unburdened by images that linger or intrude.I’m beginning to understand that vivid mental imagery can be both a gift and a weight. It can haunt as much as it delights. We may not be able to summon palm trees on an ocean beach, but neither do we re-experience cruelty or loss in graphic detail. We know what those images are, we just don’t see them. And in that absence, there is a kind of peace I hadn’t understood until now.

I've always had Aphantasia.I was so frustrated when I was young because I would try to explain that I didn't see pictures when I closed my eyes, and I was told I was wrong. That of course I did. I was asked if I dreamed. And yes I have vivid dreams in color. But then I would be told if I closed my eyes I'd see the same types of images as my dreams. When I said that wasn't so, they would reiterate that something I was experiencing wasn't true- it messed with my self esteem and my own self-validations.I never daydreamed. I can't daydream because I can't picture the process of what those daydreams would be. Again I was told that of course I had day dreams- again another truth I was living being told it wasn't so. I can't just sit and listen to music. I can sing and I can dance along with music, but just sitting there listening to music is incredibly boring to me.In talking with friends they visualize and daydream when they listen to music. My self esteem when it comes to my looks ( American woman- oy vay!) is always based on how I feel not on how I look , I think that is because there isn't some perfect image of myself in my minds eye...as I don't have a minds eye." When I feel good I look in a mirror and see a pretty lady and when i feel bad I look in the mirror and see an ugly/fat/whatever gal. When it comes to members of the opposite sex their looks mean very little as I can't really remember what they look like. I used to have a friend in my teens who hated that I could never tell her the eye color of the latest crush I had. I also have a dear friend from my youth who is a fashion designer and it drives him nuts that I never remember any outfits unless it was something we took a picture of.When things were difficult someone suggested meditation and the amount I hated it surprised everyone who knew me. I believe now that seeing thing in your minds eye is a necessary part of the meditative process. One that I am woefully unable to do. It was suggested over and over and until I knew the word and definition and reality of aphantasia.As we devolve into turbulent times I find the lack of truth clicks into the sense of reality, or lack thereof that I had growing up with this. It's being told over and over that something that is happening to you , cannot be happening to you that really messed with my head in this journey.

There was a Facebook post a few years back by a Silicon Valley software engineer who described aphantasia and how it blew him away to discover it. My wife actually sent that post to me with the line "Read that .. I think that is you. " ... my mind was blown. All of a sudden my life started making sense. Why i was useless when my wife sent me to the store to get paint in the color of our living room. Why i can watch horror movies all day long and not get nightmares. Why i settled on an entirely black wardrobe years ago. Why i was never able to create cool looking slide decks at work. Why, even though I'm an absolute cinephile, i found it impossible to imagine a movie of my own. It was a revelation.

I always had this, it was just completely normal for me and I never really thought about it. But I at the same time always had many issues with visual memory, remembering people by faces, in arts class, with describing places and things from memory. I never really had any kind of visual memory or memory of things that was experienced more or less visual only. Yes, I remember my school days, but only a few things that I have a strong emotional or acoustic connection with are really present in my mind (but not at all with any kind of visual representation, but I can play back the connected emotions or acoustic part and the information about the connected experience (without visual info) just fine. I never understood when people talked about the inner eye or when I someone said that they can picture it in their mind, for me it was always only a figure of speech and that was it for me, just something that people say. My non-existing visual memory I had put done as that, as a bad memory, as something that I just had. "Oh, I am just bad with faces and I don't care about most what I see all day so my brain filters it out. Nothing strange at all" That went this way until I was about 40, so 4 maybe 6 year ago, when on some of the many RSS feeds that I am subscribed to a article was published about aphantasia. The article was describing me, was describing how my mind, my memory worked and I was completely blown away. After that I started to read as many articles and publications about it as I could find. I had a name for how my mind was, how I was and I had published articles and even peer reviewed scientific papers as proof that it was real and something other people was experiencing too. That I am able to say "Oh, that I can't because I have aphantasia" is often such a relief, because it is no longer a "you don't try hard enough" but a "that is how my brain works, here read those papers if you don't belief me". It is no longer my "fault" but just how the combination of genes (or whatever factor else responsible for it) made me.