My weariness with hyperfantasy
2 min readByLeandra Ortega
While I'm trying to understand my current mental state, and I've researched this because I spend most of my time just in my imagination, whether I want to or not, I just completed the questionnaire and the truth is I'm still there and it bothers me because I feel like the sun is shining in my eyes. Ugh, I'm tired of remembering people and their details. My mind is used to dissecting people and then simulating them in my mind. I don't like to desecrate things with my mind; it seems terrifying and uncontrollable. The worst part is the dreams, or the unreality. Right now, for two days I've felt like there's someone inside my eyes, and I can feel and see them. And I'm afraid of feeling, smelling, touching, and seeing what I imagine. I think I'm partly afraid of breaking the boundary between reality and imagination, which is why I spend most of my days locked in my room. But I'm still outside, and in a way, I like it because I remember the details of where everything is and the geographical map of the little I know outside my house. People I haven't seen for years are still by my side, so real that I can still hear their voices.
My biggest problem is exhaustion. I don't do much, and I feel so incredibly tired mentally that it's hard to even move. I just took a nap, but I kept waking up. I don't feel crazy; I just want to know why I feel this way because I remember and see worse things, things so real that my body aches.