Just joined today. I've loved to draw since I was very young. My parents always made sure I had paper and drawing materials even though this was kind of a foreign thing for them and no one else on either side of my family was "artistic". Fast forward after some years of working in a sign shop and doing graphic design (pre-computer) and getting a BFA Illustration from the then Academy of Art in San Francisco. I studied oil painting with a local artist, copying master works, a traditional way to learn the media. So I've been a professional fine artist since the late 1980s, painting in oil and still loving to draw. My epiphany that my brain was wired differently was when my husband and I were trying to decide how to paint a wall in our new home. I suggested a color from a swatch and asked him what he thought. He had no idea. I said can't you see how it would look and he said "no". And I thought "oh". Asked some other questions and finally realized that not everyone can see in images and colors so I've been careful not to make that assumption since then. And I finally figured out that I could "make an image" in my mind with not only no effort but that, in fact, is how my brain is wired. Which explained why in high school I aced classes like English Lit, Biology and History in school but crashed and burned with math and inorganic chemistry because I couldn't "see" them. And why I'm here. Interested in hearing other folk's accounts of how they realized that their brain works and processes the world in images.

Any artists like painters around? Anyone who loves to draw?

April 29, 20242 min readBySusan Fox

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Lea Reimann•recently•edited

I first discovered my love for painting during a high school exchange program in the U.S. When I returned home, I decided to take art as a focus subject. Now, painting is more of a hobby, but it's something I deeply enjoy—especially creating portraits of my loved ones, like my siblings, parents, and close friends. For a long time, I didn’t quite understand why this meant so much to me, but I’ve come to realize that I have a deep desire to capture their images on paper, something I cannot do in my mind. Creative work—whether it’s painting, writing, a DIY project, or decorating a room—has always been a "process of letting the finished product emerge in front of me" as well. Back in art class, I struggled with the mandatory sketchbook that was supposed to document our ideas, experiments, and project plans in advance. This sketchbook was graded, as it was meant to prove that we had a "creative process" behind our final pieces—because apparently, the finished painting alone wasn't sufficient evidence. But for me, this approach just didn’t work. I felt completely lost. In class, I would avoid drawing in the sketchbook, pretending I preferred to do this work at home. The truth is, I never sketched or planned out my work. For my portraits, I usually used a reference photograph to get started, but not my own "visual idea". Some might call this copying, but for me, painting wasn't about that. The joy of painting was in playing with colors and shapes, letting the piece develop in front of me. I could take a reference photograph and then create my own version of the portrait on a blank space with colors I chose. How amazing! I could completely lose myself in this process—adding, adjusting, and painting over until I was satisfied with the result. My way of doing art didn't fit well with the curriculum, though because I always ended up with a final piece and an empty sketchbook. The night before a project deadline was hectic. I would sit down with the empty sketchbook pages and fabricate an entire creative "process," starting from the back with my finished piece and working to the front. I even added fake dates to make it seem like I had developed the piece gradually through sketches. I played along because it seemed like everyone else was doing it the “right” way, too. Deep down, I always knew there wasn’t a single "right" way to be creative, and that I had the right to use my mind in a way that worked for me. The word "creative" comes from the Latin word creare, which literally means "to produce" or "to bring into existence." In its essence, being creative means bringing something new into the world, whether it's an idea, a piece of art, or a solution to a problem. I look back at those days and can’t help but smile and shake my head. I wonder if I could have explained my situation to my art teachers had I known about aphantasia back then. Maybe it would have spared me the hours spent fabricating proof that I was a creative individual.

Colin Coltrane•recently•edited

I have total aphantasia and have always struggled with artistic expression. While I was able to develop some drawing skills when young, have some untaught aptitude at graphic design, and enjoy construction-type creation like DIY projects, woodworking, and masonry; I've now realized the approach that works for me for all of these activities involves no visualization or even in many cases pre-planning. Instead I have good results finding a starting point or form in the project and then adjusting physically. This is more a process of letting the finished product emerge rather than first knowing how I want it to look and then working toward that. Time to take up chainsaw sculpting!

Shell Stoll•recently•edited

I found my way here this morning after my Dad sent me an article about Aphantasia saying he thinks he has the trait. After reading it I was stunned. I don't see pictures in my mind, and when other people say they do, I always think "Well, that's weird" but I'm an artist, so I must see something. I didn't think past that...well I seriously don't see anything visual in my mind. It's hard for me to do my job without many reference images. So boy oh boy I think I have this too Dad! How bizarre. Looks like there's a real reason why I take SO many pictures and have recorded history visually that way. I can't see my memories in my head. But. I do dream often and visually. The pictures are just gone when I'm awake. How weird, one little article can change your whole outlook just like that.

Alice Zhang•recently•edited

I take drawing as a hobby.I could draw things in front of me well.But when I try to draw something complex in memory or imagination , I always couldn’t draw them correctly. I used to be puzzled by this until I know Aphantasia.despite this, I still enjoy drawing .

Jennifer McDougall•recently•edited

Welcome to the community! It’s really cool to hear about your background in art and how you’ve recently discovered the unique way your brain works. It must have been quite the moment when you realized that not everyone sees the world in images and colors. This point you made, really resonates: "I've been careful not to make that assumption since then." Visualization is a universal assumption that is now only beginning to be re-imagined since aphantasia was named :).

Katia Perreira•recently•edited

Yes! I do this too. Like Susan, my mom raised us on art. Paints, colored pencils, large amounts of paper. I use references on some things that I want to look a particular was bc I cannot even in my brain, and most of the time my art just emerges of itself. I remember my mom looking at a vase of flowers I drew with pastel and asking me where I got the idea from, and I didn’t know how to answer her, it just came as I put color on the paper, I didn’t even start with the idea of drawing flowers at all, I just wanted to create. For things I do actually want to draw in a particular way, I’ll usually use a reference. Sometime I will spend so much time on one subject, I’ll be able to draw it without a reference. Like a palm tree. I can make a pretty stellar palm tree without a reference photo now, but not because I can visualize it. I think it’s rather a kinestetic memory of how it is formed, along with the emerging process of adjusting what I see on the paper. But that only really works with certain subjects like trees and flowers which in their very nature are kind of fluid. I’ve spent so much time on human anatomy, but still can’t get it without a reference.