Aphantasia and Relationships
2 min readByMorgan Fahey
I know this has been asked before, but I don’t associate with many of the outlooks from others who have aphantasia regarding the matter. So, I’m interested to see if anyone else can resonate with me and how I often feel in relationships.
My question is, how does aphantasia affect physical distance or times of seclusion in relationships? It appears that many individuals with aphantasia express a lack of ability to stay interested in their partners due to obvious struggles with object permanence. Which believe me, I struggle immensely with object permanence, although not in regard to people just objects.
When it comes to relationships, I agree that I struggle with distance or separation due to my lack of ability to visualize my partner and the inability to revisit them in my memory. Separation from them tends to make me very anxious opposed to apathetic. My constant inner monologue often reminds me of the separation and lack of connection I feel when my partner is not physically present. I tend to act on these thoughts and fears by verbalizing them to my partners, which often is reciprocated as my own insecurities thus emotionally pushing them away.
It makes me feel there is an emotional imbalance in the relationship, like I am investing more into them emotionally than I am receiving.
When I am aware that logically, we are not often equal. When physical distance is present, most individuals can revisit me in their minds many times per day, while I’m left with their absence mentally. Does anyone else struggle with this mismatch? If so, how do you cope with separation in ways that honor your reality and feelings of abandonment without emotionally draining your partner?