I love that you said “feel like living in a world of darkness”, I feel the same way, always have. I’m very strong in my faith, BY faith. I can feel when the Holy Spirit hits and can smell Him. What I struggle most is reading the Bible (or reading anything), as it’s just words to me. It’s just as useless to listen to the Bible. There are movies that are word for word biblical, and THaT helped me greatly, wish they had that for all books in the Bible. 

New here also. I don't have the ability to visualize or hear sounds in my mind. I do, however, feel things internally. So when I dream or recall a memory, I recall/dream essentially in feelings and ideas. For me, it didn't occur to me that people actually visualize and see God! *laughing* (I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at me still struggling to understand that visualization isn't metaphorical.)  When it comes to faith (for me, that's God), I've accepted that I do not need to see or hear His voice to know He is there. I take it on faith. I know He is listening. I know He hears me. I know He answers my prayers. I feel Him - most notably through a sense of calm or peace. Or I might stumble upon an article to read that tells me what I need to know. Or I get a phone call or an email from an unexpected place. God talks to us in the ways we can hear Him best. He knows those ways better than we do. And I take that completely on faith. He said He is there. Always. And I believe Him. No proof necessary.

hi there! i just found out I'm total aphant a few days ago and i am struggling too. but this is my issue, i'm a buddhist and a lot of the specific practices we do, like you, are built around what are called meditation objects(deities), so yes we meditate with very specific and often complex mental visuals of compassionate bodhisattvas. mind blown when i realized i wasn't doing it wrong or was bad at it, i just can do it the way it is instructed. i don't have a solution. but i just wanted to express to you that i understand why its distressing. i will be talking to my teacher soon, so i will let you know if he has any useful thoughts. 

I love that you said “feel like living in a world of darkness”, I feel the same way, always have. I’m very strong in my faith, BY faith. I can feel when the Holy Spirit hits and can smell Him. What I struggle most is reading the Bible (or reading anything), as it’s just words to me. It’s just as useless to listen to the Bible. There are movies that are word for word biblical, and THaT helped me greatly, wish they had that for all books in the Bible. 

New here also. I don't have the ability to visualize or hear sounds in my mind. I do, however, feel things internally. So when I dream or recall a memory, I recall/dream essentially in feelings and ideas. For me, it didn't occur to me that people actually visualize and see God! *laughing* (I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at me still struggling to understand that visualization isn't metaphorical.)  When it comes to faith (for me, that's God), I've accepted that I do not need to see or hear His voice to know He is there. I take it on faith. I know He is listening. I know He hears me. I know He answers my prayers. I feel Him - most notably through a sense of calm or peace. Or I might stumble upon an article to read that tells me what I need to know. Or I get a phone call or an email from an unexpected place. God talks to us in the ways we can hear Him best. He knows those ways better than we do. And I take that completely on faith. He said He is there. Always. And I believe Him. No proof necessary.

hi there! i just found out I'm total aphant a few days ago and i am struggling too. but this is my issue, i'm a buddhist and a lot of the specific practices we do, like you, are built around what are called meditation objects(deities), so yes we meditate with very specific and often complex mental visuals of compassionate bodhisattvas. mind blown when i realized i wasn't doing it wrong or was bad at it, i just can do it the way it is instructed. i don't have a solution. but i just wanted to express to you that i understand why its distressing. i will be talking to my teacher soon, so i will let you know if he has any useful thoughts.