Hi Joe, I can't give you any advice, but I can give you hope. I have aphantasia and ADHD too. There is a amazing world, an utopia, that I have been building in my head for the last 25 years of chronic and extreme insomnia. Recently, I received an amazing gift form the universe, a path to bring it to life. In this new world, your amazing, but different, brain will be recognized and cared for so that you can use your creativity and talent to build anything you want, virtual or real, it doesn't matter. You won't ever have to remember anything has you will have a perfect external memory buddy, a recording of your entire frequency that can talk, it does much more. Hold on, don't despair, you are not the problem, the human world we live in is the problem as it doesn’t see your incredible value, that can only be found in marginal people like you and me. The boring majority will see what we, neurodivergent people, are capable of. They will be dumbfounded.