My personal experience profile: Massively Parallel Hyperphantasia & ADHD Regulation
2 min readByEerie Von Méndez Calderón
I am a 31-year-old with ADHD who uses extreme, multi-sensory hyperphantasia as a literal dopamine regulation tool. I don't just see vivid images; I run real-time, interactive, 4K simulations inside my head to kill boredom or stress. I have absolute control: I can enter and exit these states in a blink with zero lag, confusion, or involuntary movements.While standard tests (like the VVIQ) ask if people can imagine a simple sunrise, my baseline involves testing my brain's physics and audio engines. Situational experiments I regularly run include:
- The 8.0 Earthquake: Rendering a fictional room during a massive earthquake, tracking dozens of objects moving based on independent mass, weight, and physics, while simultaneously listening to 4 distinct voices of people I know—perfectly replicating their real timbres, logic, and speech patterns—and understanding all 4 conversations at once.
🖥️ My Ultimate Experiment: The Recursive Loop (70-Min Pure Render)My most complex test to date wasn't a chaotic simulation, but a voluntary, 70-minute continuous journey without any loss in framerate or fidelity.
- The Journey: I rendered my entire commute from my house to my office. This included full real-time ray tracing (sunlight transitioning to shadows under bridges), independent traffic AI (dozens of unique cars), and physics feedback (feeling the sway of the bus and the walk to the hotel).
- The Loop: Upon arriving at my fictional office, I walked to my desk, sat down, and turned on the PC.
- The Paradox: On the monitor of that virtual PC, I displayed a real-time 3rd-person view of my actual physical body sitting on the toilet (where I was physically hanging out for 2 hours to get some quiet time).
It was a perfect, voluntary recursive simulation with zero vertigo, zero dissociation, and absolute metacognitive control. It is not an hallucination or autoscopy; it is purely a conscious, high-tier multi-threaded rendering engine.
AND my purpose here if to see if there actual people with the same level or something close to my case. I know this forum it's for aphantasia in general, but maybe i can find some people with hyperphantasia here.
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