Lyndsay Pruitt

I learned I had Aphantasia a few years ago, by accident, as most probably do. I thought it explained everything until I started noticing SDAM being mentioned a lot in the same breath as Aphantasia. So I googled it today and found this! Indeed, SDAM adds another, deeper layer and I found myself nodding with every challenge you revealed. There is nothing here that does not describe my own experience - most especially how friendships and grieving (+guilt) work. I have found memoir useful in exploring my past experiences if I write in first person AND present tense. Yes, I often have to synthesize details, feelings, senses. Sometimes it feels like making my past into fiction, but it is helpful for me. Sadly, I have had many bad experiences in life and they stick better in my memory than the good ones - reminiscing with people can be unpleasant because of this. Perhaps, though, this is what keeps me living in the present. One thing I have observed is that I remember people , places, events, and things better if there are photos. This freezes a moment in time and gives me the ability to re-view it over time and synthesize it into my memory. Aphantasia further complicates memory in that all my memories are translated into data and stored that way. I have really good facial recall - I never forget a face - but they are stored as data, not images, so it gets weird. BUT if I have a picture of someone - or even if I once had or saw a picture of someone, that data sticks in my storage better than in-person, live data, so I often think of people as they appeared in the photo, not as they now appear. I'm sorry if that was oddly explained - I just meant to say that perhaps taking a lot of photographs may be helpful IF you want to better remember things - even though you, like me, have a blind mind's eye. I can often look at a photo I took and remember at least what I was thinking at the time, sometimes even what music was playing - if not what I felt - but it helps me guess a little. :)

I think this is why I am a comfy watcher and reader. That is, I watch and read the same favorites repeatedly. I remember and understand more every time.