Esteban Camargo

I am 40, and I discovered I have aphantasia three days ago when an individual in a message board said they were curious if hallucinogens would have any impact on him since he couldn't create mental images. When other people were shocked to hear this, I realized "wait, that describes me." I'm a complete blank on the phantasia spectrum. Since then I have realized that this also extends to being unable to imagine smells, touch, or the feeling of movement. I do, however, have an acute ability to hear sounds, including other people's voices and music. E.g. I can vividly hear a song with the singer's voice and music or play a movie scene in my head with the character's distinct voices, just without any accompanying visuals. The days since have been full of learning a lot about the condition, and using it to shape my understanding of myself. Suddenly it makes sense that as a kid I enjoyed copying art, but not creating my own. Or that meditation involving imagining a beach, flame, flower, etc. were never effective for me (I wasn't just doing it wrong!). While I understand why for some this discovery is accompanied by a feeling of sadness, if anything, aphantasia helps me to be more present and to live in the now, and that's a good thing.