Justin Clark

Really appreciate your post. lots to process there - and most are similar experiences for me. rather sad really but tis what tis as they say. Sorry for asking this but may I ask you - do you fear death, out of interest? I don't whatsoever and I suspect aphantasia has (everything?) to do with this. I have experienced loss but very differently to my best friend... we both lost the same good friend but the grieving process for me was "completed" very quickly... It's one of the reasons why I am happy with discovering aphantasia... explains much. For years I have been feeling heartless for not expressing the same levels of emotion... It really made me question what sort of a human am I etc... Random thought sorry, lots to process with all this isn't there. Thanks again for your thoughts.

I do read extremely fast but never fictional books... always non-fiction (biographies, politics, history, military etc...). Lately though I've been wondering whether I actually take in any of these facts... Since finding out I had aphantasia (aged early 50s!) it has explained a lot about my character traits. Recently I have tried to challenge this "never fiction" book reading - as a child I really enjoyed Enid Blyton etc...) - and so tried, ever so hard and slowly, to digest The Brothers Karamazov, even with YouTube book guides etc... and yet I can barely remember the various characters. With no minds eye, I think my head is full (up?) of words... just words.

I don't have dreams that are visual of course but do have strong feelings from them. I wake almost immediately each morning which is strange and do feel rather refreshed. The only odd thing is that each day I wake up, I have a new song fresh in my head... a new song as if I've already been singing it, each and every day... weird.