Maarten Serneels
@serneels · Joined November 2021
I work as a Quality Assurance Controller in the Energy & Infrastructure sector and am rather geeky with a great interest in (video)games, movies and TV shows. I also like good beers, American Football, astronomy and Japanese culture! I hope that sharing our experiences can help us understand ourselves and eachother better!
Posts and comments
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
Without active senses involved, the memory automatically becomes weaker and details harder to remember. There are plenty of scientific articles backing this. Also, you write yourself it’s about “remembering actual experiences”, this is also what i am talking about, autobiographical memories. I also remember factual things very well (semantic memory) and i also remember if i liked or did not like certain experiences, but the details of an experience of conversation are mostly lost to me after some time. So important to say is that we have to make the distinction between the type of memory.
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
Hi Ellie I do not see where i have written that people with SDAM cannot empathize, or that i can’t. I wrote that in my sitution it makes me less empathetic (and this could very well be in combination with other neurodivergent traits), and speaking for my personal experience. I merely make the comparison to where a neurotypical person can visualise and re-experience events in the minds eye, which allows them to empathise stronger as there are more active senses involved. This also doesn’t mean that this is the only factor involved in the strenght or possibility. Please read what is written carefully before making strong statements or emotional posts, which might cause unnecessary discussions.
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
It is definitely a spectrum as goes to show. I do not have internal dialogue, but i have an internal monologue, which is basically just a narration of my thoughts, and basically the only thing going on up there! This way i also think about many concepts with deep thought (simply without visuals or other senses) which can indeed be very relaxing. The idea of an internal dialogue (having a back and forth conversation with yourself) remains strange to me, but i am very jealous of your capability to hear music in your head upon will/command..
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
SDAM does indeed not necessarily have to be linked to aphantasia, other neurological conditions or trauma can cause memory issues. However not everyone with aphantasia has SDAM, because memories can be strengthened by other senses as well other than images. I do however strongly believe that when someone has multi-sensory aphantasia (or total aphants), are prone to have SDAM. I cannot link any sense (visual, auditory, touch, emotion, smell, taste) to a memory. It’s purely factual data. HOWEVER, sometimes when i see, hear, smell or taste something, i recognise it and seem to try to link it to some oast memory? But it just never connects i guess..
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
Sadly i have also experienced that doctors and medical professionals are really unaware of this and sadly makes having a worthwhile conversation very rare as most tend to fall back on default ways of reasoning. Those that do try to really understand and go some extra lenghts, eventually also can’t really help as it’s still very theoretical. Right now the best they can do is help you place/acccept it reckon. I really hope more research gives more perspective and understanding in the future!
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
I agree that it doesn’t hinder us in living life, being succesful or happy. I have also seen many people link many experiences in life suddenly to aphantasia upon discovery and thinking it’s the source of many ‘negatives’ while there are many other factors amd reasons in play. It is however a big deal to many who do struggle with themselves and really analyse themselves, the people around them and the world they live in. Some people are able to just blindly accept the situation(s) they are in, but others cannot and especially overthinkers fall in this category i feel. It is to me completely relatable that it takes some time to properly place certain things and also to simply comprehending them, really thinking about what something means and what it can lead and how it can affect your life and that of those around you. That does not mean you are demeaning or disregarding other (or worse) issues in the world or even our own lives.
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
I genuinely hope you have been able to place it all a bit by now. I think it’s important to see the benefits rather then dwell on the negatives. It’s the cards we’ve been dealt and there are plenty of people with different neurological or physical conditions for that matter who also struggle with acceptance, in this we are definitely not alone in the world, yet is crucial to be (somewhat) happy!
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
A few years further now, and i really don’t see aphantasia as a negative anymore (purely the not thinking in images), however the lack of sensory input that should link to memories which is severely lacking and in my opinion greatly contributes to SDAM, does remain a struggle and also for me has contributed to feelings of depression. But also i have come to somewhat accept that i am forced to live in the present and cannot recall the past for the most part, nor can i dream about the future. In some ways i think it’s benificial (f.e. Focussing on current short-term goals), however motivation seems to remain one of my biggest struggles. At least my close friends and family have come to properly understand and accept my way of thinking and there is a lot less guilt these days.
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
This is definitely a struggle for me, where people think i care less because the memory isn’t there or significantly weaker. I do care a lot and whilst i can’t link emotions to memories, i experience emotions in the present very strongly and really wish i could hold on more to the moments i really cherished
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
I don’t dream very often either and dreams are a weird experience to me. It’s more like i view them rather than experience them. I will forget almost everything at the moment of waking up. I did try journaling dreams for a little while and whilst this did help me remember the things i dreamt, i also had 0 value to me at all, and they don’t make any sense either.
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
For when i think back to a memory, i can only remember some factual information if anything. Never will i be able to remember what i was thinking, feeling, or what was happening around me (no sensory memory seems to store at all, or at least can’t be recovered), but i will only be able to say it was a good or bad memory, maybe that there was laughing or crying or arguing
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
Yes, exactly this! I think visualisation is a strong motivational tool. I also love watching movies and tv shows, and will remember if i liked them or not, but i cannot talk to others about it because i forgot most of it and then people look at me like “did you even watch it?” Only when i’ve watched something a lot of times, i’ll be able to talk along quite well, but could still go wrong in certain details.. same with travels as you mention..
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On “Maybe You Have SDAM?”
Thanks for reading the article and the replies. I’m happy if it helped some of you understand yourselves better. It’s nice to know that we are not alone out there and can share this with others!
Article · Maybe You Have SDAM?
Discovering aphantasia and Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM) is a roller coaster of emotions. Yet I learned to understand myself and others better.