I wasn't born prematurely, and I am the third of four children ...

I am doing some online training today which has just introduced me to aphantasia, which I had never heard of before but it describes me! In my line if work other people use visualisation techniques but I have never been able to understand this, and I thought I could never remember dreams but now I actually think I don't dream either! Fascinating!

I also want people to know I was a premature infant, born 2 months early. Were any of you premie babies? I read that this may be one of the reasons I have aphantasia/no visual recall.

I am an only child. And this was always my answer to not remembering anything as a child. I would tell my kids the reason they could remember their childhood so vividly was that they had brothers/sisters that triggered vividly memories…then recently I was worried I may have some form of Dementia…until today & I’ve been reading all about Aphasia & Sdam. When I close my eyes and try to picture anything. I can’t! Today I asked my Husband, my son & my daughter-in-law to close their eyes and picture a red apple. They all said they could. I can’t!

I always thought this was how everyone else experienced the world. I had no idea that people experienced dreams, images, and other wonderful things. Whenever I tried to think about something, it would flashes of color, or nothing at all. But at least I have great hearing and I'm good at language arts! Take that DayDreamers! That's right! That's what we will call them. They're probably day dreaming and not focusing all the time!

I learned of my inability to visualize early, in what must have been first grade learning to spell. Teacher had given us an index card with a word spelled out in big block letters. Mine was CAT, in red. We were supposed to look at the card, read the word out loud, close our eyes and spell it. I couldn't do the spelling. Teacher explained, just imagine the word in your mind and read off the letters one by one. WHAT? I can't do that. Can you do that? Can anybody do that? Then, basically the whole thing just went away as an impactor on my life. I'm now 75, have had a successful carreer and life, apparently compensating for this lack with workarounds. Had an experience last year that really brought it home to me. I had problems with hornworms on my tomatoes and was looking at a plant with damage and thinking, I sure wish I could remember what the thing looked like yesterday to know if this was fresh. I have some faint ghostly imaging, and used to dream vividly and in color (no longer, due to brain surgery) and I have the associated trait of poor autobiographical memory as well. Was reading a letter from years ago sent to my sister from an overseas assignment. Didn't recall the event described at all. Two days in a dugout canoe on an African river and I remembered nothing until reading the passage several times brought a moment around a campfire into recall. Another Tom

Just learned I'm aphant. At 80 years old, that information is extremely helpful. I also realized that I did get pictures when I took acid. So I think it can change when we enter an altered state.

A few days ago, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything going on in my life at that moment. My mind was racing, so I decided that I should meditate. It's something I had not done for over a year but I used to do daily. I sat on my bed and crossed my legs. I closed my eyes, cleared my mind instantly, something which has always seemed to be a skill that I have, and focused on my breath. I sat there for maybe 60 seconds. Then I got the idea in my head to start to visualize things. I don't remember what I was trying to imagine, but I was going through several objects. After maybe 30s of this, I opened my eyes and said in my head "Wait a minute... I can't see anything." I closed my eyes again and tried to visualize basic shapes, but paying closer attention to what I was actually experiencing. Extremely simple shapes like an equilateral triangle and a square came to mind. I saw the same familiar sight that I have for 20 years—darkness, static. "Hold on, I've heard about this kind of condition before." I looked up on Google "condition where you can't visualize shapes". The Google AI overview unfurled immediately and an animation played that highlighted a single word: aphantasia. I had heard that word before on the podcast called The Rest Is Science. They were talking about how some people don't have an inner monologue and how that condition is correlated with aphantasia, not being able to visualize. I do have an inner monologue (though it is minimal) and I was under the impression that I have been 'visualizing' my whole life, so I thought to myself "Huh, that's funny. I didn't know that people can't visualize". I conflated the two ideas together and moved on thinking that I was not part of either group. It was just a few days after I listened to this podcast that I discovered that I have aphantasia. What followed the discovery was me staying up late into the night researching what this condition is and testing myself to see if I'm not fooling myself and I actually have it. Eventually, I could not but believe it. In the following days, many things that set me apart from others, that made me question myself, started to make sense. As a kid, I loved drawing, but only tracing or copying, not using my creativity in freestyle. I was never drawn to reading and preferred watching videos. My memory of movies and TV shows was always very vague while others' weren't. Not just the negative things but the positive things too. I've always been an extremely logical thinker. I excelled in science and math. Unlike many others with aphantasia, I've never thought that 'visualize' was just a metaphor– I thought I could do it. I assumed that everyone else's mental experiences were the same as mine. But only after deep introspection I realized that my way of visualization is not at all similar to vision, unlike how people without aphantasia report. It's more abstract and about relations of ideas rather than looking at the components of an image.

I have recently (in the last few weeks) discovered I fit the symptoms for ADHD (I don't have a formal diagnosis yet) and I was reading about different types of neurodiversity and aphantasia was mentioned. I thought "huh" and then forgot about it. A few days later I was having shower thoughts and began to think I might have it too. I remember vividly my mother trying to help me to remember how to spell as a child and she said "can you see it on internal blackboard?" and I said "But I don't have a blackboard?" I then searched on my computer and the aphantasia test came up. I thought I was "visualizing" an apple. But then I realised I was thinking about an apple, but I couldn't see it. Then the ball on the table test. I could imagine a ball, on a table, but it was the concept of the ball on the table, not a visualization of it. I find this super interesting because I have excellent spacial memory, like remembering were certain products are on supermarket shelves or imagining what a new piece of furniture may look like in my lounge. I am really good with colours too, I can somehow colour match without seeing the colour in my brain, but I understand the colour theory, like where it fits on the colour wheel. I am also very creative but get frustrated with drawing or painting without any guide - now I know why! I can't see it in my mind. I have to paint or draw to see what comes out. But that doesn't stop me, I just paint by numbers or cross stich or colouring instead. Ok, so I love to read fiction. I thought I was seeing the story in my brain, but it's actually more like experiencing it, like I was in the room with the characters. I tend to remember the overall story but not the details. The characters either look like faces I know, or are hazy and indistinct in my mind. It's great that different types of neurodiversity are becoming more well known, I find it fascinating to learn about the mind and how different people think.

I was drawn to hypnosis and was disappointed with my first few experiences as I thought I was going to receive a lot of visual information. For the most impactful experience, I received more body sensations, symbols, words, songs, knowings, and some visuals that looked like light in the form of a shape. These were things I had to later learn to interpret to find out what the information was trying to tell me. I did receive some snapshot like images, but these were rare. I later went on to become a hypnotherapist and found that in my schooling, all my classmates had very vivid visual experiences under hypnosis. I learned more about myself and the way I process information. I regularly cannot be regressed to certain ages to recall memories because nothing comes up for me visually, but I can call parts of me forward and feel them come through my body. I experience emotions in my body that are linked to memories. When I'm asked to picture things, as in your survey, I find even the options lacking. I think how I experience imagination is by collecting things I've seen before and compiling them into an "image" that I know. For example, I can picture a beach and I understand all the elements it needs, I know that the shoreline is likely curving as a beach that is more of a bay would be calmer and more private in my mind. I know that the sun would feel warm on my skin and the breeze would be soothing and cool and I could hear birds, but I can imagine it with my eyes open and when I close my eyes, it doesn't appear as an image before me. I still just see blackness. I can imagine a loved one's face - usually from a picture or from a moment in time - a memory. I can recall what something looks like, but I don't see it clearly in front of me. It is almost as if there is a black veil in front of it and it just exists somewhere behind that, or somewhere behind my eyes (in my brain) or somewhere in my memory. It is difficult to describe. It is more of a knowing than a seeing. What I find more fascinating is that there are people with no inner dialogue. I'm constantly talking to myself and analyzing things, so I can't imagine no voice puzzling things out. I feel like maybe I just have a degree of aphantasia as I can picture things, but i don't think it is the same as others who actually see images and not the same as people who see nothing. Anyway, I'm constantly intrigued about the way my mind works and the more information I gather, the more I seek. Thanks for this space!

Just this last year. I am 66, dyspraxic and dyslexic and used to knowing my brain works differently to others, but didn't realise how much. I am totally aphant. I just looked it up one day, after finding out my husband can imagine everything and any sense.

I was in graduate school for counseling psychology. I read an article that described aphantasia. I was blown away! I had no idea that people had visual images!!! When someone would say "imagine" or "picture" I thought they were seaking figuratively. I asked my famliy members if they had images. My sister did not. My mom did. Since then, as licensed professional counselor and trauma therapist, I always ask my clients if they have visual images. It can signifcantly impact how we process their trauma!

I always think that visualisation is something to be trained until one church sister was asking me visualise a cross and I said I couldn’t. She was puzzled and she asked me to visualise a pink elephant. I said I couldn’t. The more she was puzzled. So I googled that night why I can’t visualise in my head. The answer was I have anphantasia. So I asked my friend n family members to visualise a pink elephant. Turned out only my siblings and I cannot. The rest were puzzled why I can’t too.

my best friend heard about the concept of aphantasia from her favorite Minecraft YouTubers and asked me about it and she thought I might have aphantasia so then because Im a 13 year old with TOO MUCH free time I researched all about aphantasia and found out I have it.

My friend learned about it watching youtube videos and he said 'you know some people can't see things in their head' and i was like yeah i can't.... hour long discussion on how i had no idea this was a thing and figured everyone was the same. (my friend does not have aphantasia)

About 2 years ago, after being part of a discussion about counting sheep as a means of falling asleep, it reminded me to research why I've never been able to conjure up sheep. I'm an artist in my 60s, and dream vividly. I have always had a great memory, but don't see images in my mind related to the images. Like you, Tom, I started asking everyone I know if they could see images when they close their eyes. Then, in my research, I found your post. It explains why I can't draw or paint an object without viewing it in real time. It's a relief to know I'm not alone. I have to say that I wish I could conjure up images.

Being a 34-year-old autistic guy who faced burnout at my last job years ago, my social life has dwindled a bit even since then, where I only had a couple at most outside my immediate family. I really don’t get to talking to many people outside the internet. Now, I hope not to offend anyone in saying this, but a lot of content on youtube I’ve watched as an atheist would tend to lead me to questioning where these voices people hear in their heads come from, and if they are just somehow unaware that everyone has an internal monologue, never mind a full range if any and all voices they’ve ever heard, music, etc. Not exactly to do with phantasia but for me it was just one aspect in the way I’ve always thought, the other being extremely vivid pictures and movies all in my head as I’d daydream or even remember actual dreams for many years, never mind transporting myself to memories from my childhood or whatnot. I don’t remember exactly how many years ago it was when this happened, but learning some people just didn’t normally have voices in their heads I think was a gateway for me to learn of aphantasia as opposed to my own hyperphantasia. It just never occurred to me to ask anyone what they thought or how, and I have very particular memories as a young child where my thoughts would keep me up at night(still do now tbh) where my mother would tell me to picture myself on a calm beach with all the sensations that would being. I was able to do so with no problem and just never thought to ask about it. So learning of this and now this website sometime later, I’m hopeful that at least I can provide some perspective in exchange for others experiences as well.

Im 23 now, and I've known ive had total aphantasia since I was 17 or 18, at least thats when I knew there was a name for it. My entire life has been full of a black screen, sometimes ill get a "black velvet." But, interestingly there will be times when im laying down trying to sleep, ill start seeing what I can only describe as kaleidoscopic, constantly changing geometric shapes (I truly hope that makes even the slightest sense to someone else out there) that stumps me of if thats a glimpse to what its like for others. My memory my entire life has always been spotty, some days ill remember the facts of what happened clearly and be able to say what I remember happening, and some days I could remember nothing at all, all with the same events. With so many other health issues/conditions I have and am discovering (thanks disabilities) I could never fully tell if my memory issues were due to aphantasia, or some other thing so im leaving that of my experiences up in the air, and my advice is; if you have something going on that you aren't sure could be a form of phantasia or any other condition, go check with your Dr first before assuming that its phantasia related, rule out all possibilities first just to be sure. I am 99.99% positive my aphantasia is congenital, as i actually remember when I first told my mom. We were at Sonic one night getting dinner (its what she wanted at the time) and I dont remember exactly how it got brought up, but i started explaining what aphantasia was (at the time there wasnt as much information as there is now) and she said that sounded a lot like what she has had her whole life. I then told her about the Apple scale and fully explained it all, showed her what it all looked like (she needs visual reminders like me) and proceeded to "test" her, to find she has aphantasia as well. Ive never asked my dad of if he has it, I dont think he even knows what it is (ill make sure to change that lol) but im sure he has either aphant or hypophant. My sister has about an average level, she told me she is able to see stuff in her head, I dont remember exactly what she described it like a couple months ago, but id say mid to low end average. When I found this out, I was fascinated cause she was the first person in my family that I could fully confirm had that mental visualization. Now, I do have an old friend, and his story is fascinating to me so much. Back when I discovered all of this, I had at the time told my friend and he was super curious about it, cause he never knew that happened to people. At the time just figuring out that it DID happen for others, I got curious and asked, and im glad I did cause thats when it put into perspective to me how massive of a spectrum aphantasia can be. He has hyperphantasia, id guess far end of the tail on the bell curve is where he would fall, but he can full on conjure a 3D image in his head, see it at any angle he wants (like he can smoothly rotate it around in his head and not miss a single detail) add or remove other objects or details, change colors, and change the distance perspectives. When I heard that, I was in awe that people could experience it like that, let alone some people have that surreal of an experience with it. Now, all of this is have just told you has been my experiences after learning about what it was, putting a name to it and spreading some word, and being satisfied with knowing why I cant picture images in my head. Surely, my curiosity ends there right? Apparently not, and im so glad my curiosity wont die with this, especially as more has been coming out. I am slowly learning more and more, understanding new things that could connect in my life even more to support my experience, but like I mentioned earlier with checking with drs, I have quite a few disabilities and health issues I've gotta get checked first that have similar symptoms, potential causes/triggers, etc that I wanna rule out before I settle saying its my aphantasia, cause I personally dont wanna leave a potential health issue unresolved thinking its something else. Namely, lots of mental/neurological health issues (autism, adhd, DID, CPTSD, etc) seem to have overlap, but had I not went and got diagnoses and found the cause for some, I could've assumed it was that, but always being filled with curiosity I exhaust all options first, and I cant emphasize and stress enough how important it is to see a Dr and talk about your concerns with them rather than self diagnosing as mush as possible when possible. Obviously aphantasia and its spectrum itself isn't a diagnosable condition, either you have ot or you dont, but i hope people dont assume any of its overlaps are truth for them without checking first, its nice having solid answers instead of rocky ones. As far as I know, my face blindness can be attributed to it, as no other Dr has been able to explain it, and im not the best with remembering people's names either. If people even get a haircut I wont recognize them immediately, and say they look familiar, and it isn't until I hear them speak that it clicks who it is. Ive never noticed issues with any other senses lacking really, and I think what helps me remember voices easier is my internal voice. Yes, its real (for those who dont experience it), for me its like having a little devil on your shoulder (or whatever you want on your shoulder, its figurative, if you can picture something there even cooler, whats that like?) who is constantly talking about anything you've done, wanna do, see, hear, feel, if youve done this yet, if you need to do that, just constantly running nonstop and its honestly annoying for me. But, its been there my whole life, its my own voice and conscience, and because its constantly cycling through not only personal thoughts, but also songs, random tunes that pop into my head that I've never even heard before, I think is whats able to help me remember the pitches of others and make out those specific differences between voices (plus being a choir kid helped me learn to recognize that pitch better) This has been a long yap, to those who read it, good on you! Hope there aren't too many spelling errors, I try to catch them as I ho with my dyslexia, but there's always stragglers. I would love to someday hopefully participate in studies, obviously to have answers for myself, but to also help understand it all as a whole and hopefully help even a little into the studies of such a fascinating thing. But for now I will keep spreading word and awareness, as well as keep checking for new information to better understand as we all learn more Tldr: I've known my whole life, learned the name about 7-8 years ago, know some friends and family at different points of the spectrum of phantasia, and know that there's some medical overlap of mine that isn't caused by it, but still interesting that overlap is there, and that inner voices are real for some, and can be annoying (take it with a grain of salt person to person how they feel on theirs if they have one). :)

Was listening to some gamers on Youtube talking about it. Of the three, one has hyper and the other two has aphan. Listened for about five to ten minutes before stopping the video to look Aphantasia up. Having Total Aphantasia explains so much to me. How a lot of things I remember is in context: I can recognize people, but if it's not at the place I usually see them, they are out of context and end up with a 'I know you from somewhere...' I've always had trouble with spelling and said 'I don't know how it's spelled, but it's not that way.' I very much do not trust my memory and prefer important things written down or they will not be retained.I've always thought I have a very vibrant imagination. I love reading and I attempt to write fiction for fun. But I've had trouble at times, especially with describing characters. I need to see them to be able to describe them, but I can't draw them without a description. I tend to have a 'I know what it needs to be/look like/vibe, but I'm not sure how to get there.' Everything is, not audio words, but more written? Like I don't think the 'mental voice' sounds like my 'verbal voice'. I'm not actually hearing anything. But I'm still forming words and making mental sentences. Writing things down on the chalkboard of my brain, and erasing it just as easily.I will say though, it is nice to be able to just close my eyes when I'm overstimulated and simply 'turn off' one of my senses. To get a mental 'Pause'.

I'm 58 and only realised I was aphantasia a week ago while on holiday with my wife. We were talking about a big secret my brother told me over 30 years ago and I said I could not tell my wife at the time. she mentioned it on our holiday in conversation and I had no recollection of it at all. (we had talked before about how I could only remember parts of my life and instead had a kind of a bullet point memory of my life and did not have good memory of events on occasions). she said its ok I know you said you would keep it secret, but I really didn't remember the secret my brother told me. We started diving into how I could forget something so important. She said she could vivid remember the whole event. we talked for ages and when she described she could see images and video and sounds I was like "what the hell" your kidding me. I told her when I close my eyes I see nothing but darkness and silence. she was shocked. I did/do feel about a bit cheated to be honest. But have had a good life so far and hasn't affected me (how could it) as I was aware I was different . I did struggle in school and was probably the most lightly person to fail in life. But I think that pushed me and I did well in life and I veered toward a career in production, IT and Fintech etc, so all good jobs. I did find out in my 40's that I suffer from Dyslexia , so put my school and other issues down to that. Now realising I also have aphantasia and SDAM they probably made it harder for me as well with study and work stuff. Its a shock finding out others can see images and video and sound and taste in their head, but hey I cant really be mad about loosing something I never had I guess. Next thing is to check out if anyone else in the family has it and maybe ask my brother what the hell was that big secret lol.