I'm only now fully realizing it and admitting it the uniqueness of it. That said, I've always intuitively known, I think, but I've had to painfully suppress it throughout my youth due to others having little tolerance for it in their lives. Until recently, I guess I thought everyone could vividly imagine (and remember) across all their senses, including motor, place-based, real and fantasized, pleasing and traumatic. It wasn't until reading Temple Grandin's Visual Thinking that it occurred to me that other people had different levels of ability on a sense-by-sense basis. I took the assessments and discovered that I'm hyperphantasic across the entire spectrum of senses. It freaked me out, to be honest. It was a bit overwhelming. It was a revelation that brought a sense of relief but also grief and loss. After many years of wondering why others couldn't seem to see the world or imagine things as I do, all the self- and societal invalidation that accompanied that confusion suddenly had a simple explanation. I actually do see and imagine things differently than 99%+ percent of others. That, at least (ironically), wasn't in my imagination. I now have a partial answer for why I've been so successful in my field and struggled in relationships. I often feel clairvoyant in planning and predicting outcomes. My emotions feel blended with others and large groups. I get lost in my imagination as it's superimposed over our reality. If I'm not careful, others have difficulty relating to how I express my ideas (i.e., hyper-sensorially). A big, new question is, what do I do with this now that I understand it better? How do I begin advocating for my needs more effectively while also humbly considering diverse experiences in my work and relationships?

I'm only now fully realizing it and admitting it the uniqueness of it. That said, I've always intuitively known, I think, but I've had to painfully suppress it throughout my youth due to others having little tolerance for it in their lives. Until recently, I guess I thought everyone could vividly imagine (and remember) across all their senses, including motor, place-based, real and fantasized, pleasing and traumatic. It wasn't until reading Temple Grandin's Visual Thinking that it occurred to me that other people had different levels of ability on a sense-by-sense basis. I took the assessments and discovered that I'm hyperphantasic across the entire spectrum of senses. It freaked me out, to be honest. It was a bit overwhelming. It was a revelation that brought a sense of relief but also grief and loss. After many years of wondering why others couldn't seem to see the world or imagine things as I do, all the self- and societal invalidation that accompanied that confusion suddenly had a simple explanation. I actually do see and imagine things differently than 99%+ percent of others. That, at least (ironically), wasn't in my imagination. I now have a partial answer for why I've been so successful in my field and struggled in relationships. I often feel clairvoyant in planning and predicting outcomes. My emotions feel blended with others and large groups. I get lost in my imagination as it's superimposed over our reality. If I'm not careful, others have difficulty relating to how I express my ideas (i.e., hyper-sensorially). A big, new question is, what do I do with this now that I understand it better? How do I begin advocating for my needs more effectively while also humbly considering diverse experiences in my work and relationships?