William Valiunas
@cne9999 · Joined October 2021
Posts and comments
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On “How did you first discover aphantasia?”
I read about Ex-Pixar chief Ed Catmull and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
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On “Extreme Imagination Update”
I wish there was as much an interest in aphantasia as there was in hyperphantasia.
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On “Extreme Imagination Update”
My area of question(s) or curiosity are centered on 'Acquired Aphantasia' Just based on a reply to a simple question I posted here on staging-aphantasia-staging.kinsta.cloud I am interested in finding more information on the possibility of depression caused/related aphantasia and whether it may be reversible if it is even a 'thing'. If it is, what are the ramifications of the drugs used to treat depression in relationship to acquired aphantasia. So many questions.... I am sure I am in the 1% based on the tests and questions on this site. I was definitely NOT like this in my younger days, prior to the onset of my depression and through the treatment thereof. If anything I leaned more towards hyperphantasia as a younger person and now deeply aphantasic as an older person having been treated with drugs for depression and GAD.
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On “Can aphantasia be acquired?”
I just wanted to add... Related or not, relevant or not, as a younger person, 10-20 years ago or so. I was able to draw nicely and detailed. I cannot not now. When that ability was lost I do not now. I do know the loss is real. I was able to draw very nice detailed drawings based on what I had seen in my earlier life or imagine at the time but I cannot even come close to drawing previous memories now. I believe the loss of that ability coincides with the onset of my GAD and clinically diagnosed and treated depression.
Comment ·
On “Can aphantasia be acquired?”
Thank you for the straightforward and understandable reply, I did suffer a long bout with with depression. Many years of it. Not sadness but actual clinically diagnosed depression so bad I did seek that medical attention. I was on anti-depressants for may years, 10 years or more. Personally I feel the drugs did more harm than good. But they helped me cope for those years. I seem to recall not having any vivid day dreams, visualizations, or anything during my period of medication and that period of my life but I did feel better as far as the depression is concerned. Actually more like a zombie. No depression but less able to feel. I now believe less able to 'see' my minds eye. Did I give up the minds eye to cope with my depression? If so I would take that period of my life back and suffer to be able to have a minds eye. I weaned myself off the drugs with my Dr's assistance. I am not still perfectly healed but I can cope with the depression on a day to day basis now. For me now, it's just a thing I feel day to day. And for the last 5-7 years no mind’s eye is gone. Aphantasia? Drug induced? Depression induced? I did the experiment with my wife. She is able to visualize anything I suggest. I can then ask her questions about the suggested visualizations and she's spot on with her own additions of detail. I was amazed and depressed at the same time. She was Imaginative and saw things I did know people could really 'SEE'.. She can bring up details, colors, 'Photos' in her minds eye. I want that back. So, am I permanently 'here ' now? I am depressed about this. It really sucks. But life goes on. Geese... I hope the thoughts I've tried to explain here make sense to someone. Kind of P.O.’d now.