Fyl Hodges
@drizzit44684sj3f
Joined 12 days ago@drizzit44684sj3f
Joined 12 days agosame. never really wanted to draw though personaly, but like in art class or something.
YOUR STORY IS AMAZING!!! Gonna read it agin, one sec.... wish i could talk to you and your family. Jesus might need to move to second place for who to eat dinner with anyone in the world question, lol. How does she hear sounds? like her mind eye tracks the waves? how does she know she is hearing sounds? How do you? Is it the whole song? like instraments, backup voculs, singer? I just think the words of the song. nothing more. All I have is a inner voice. I want almost nothing more than for you to tell me how your inner voice works? Since you hear sounds, does that mean you hear the voice? Is it your voice, or that of another? Can u put your voice in place of the singers so it sounds like its your song? Like "Step aside Adele. I got this one."? Boom! its you. That what i would do. Can u put others voices in the singers place? like make reaking ball be sung by Darth Vader or something? That would be hilarious. LOL. whish i could visulize it. lucky bastards, lol. Read story again. Also, glad u have a good and happy life. :) and if u can imgian sound when there is none, what happens when you listen to a song? it is the same "vision"or thing? more or less clear with raw matrial provided from active listing, or is it not relavant?
all i have is the inner voice. Here is a method i inveted this moring to test a inner voice. althogh, it can brop be used to test all 5 sencses.....you will be the first to try it, besides myself of course. To start, a basic way i got from the internet is to read silently to yourself. A hyperaphantasia (no inner voice) will not be able to do this. They will be forced to read aloud. But remeber, its on a scale, so you might be able to, but u have to focus like in silent reading class or something. But when you are driving, and reading signs, when you were not thinkning about it, do you read them silently, mouth the words, or say them? So once you identify your inner voice, (if u have one) unlike mine, yours will be weak. The brain is a musele, and you are not used to tapping into this sorce. so like a seed into fesh soil, you need to nuture it. The method I used is to basicly sit in the dark (nighttime in room, closet, basment, cabbin in the woods, whatever flots your boat) with no stimuli. U will be left alone with your thoughts. This is key. what ever thoughts you have, you need to apply congnative thinking. (thinking about your thinking) This is one way I leaned into, and devloped my inner diolog. Not gonna lie to you though....walking through fire is hard. This is a form of meditaion and self refection. Best of luck! Hope I Helped.
Why did they not look right? what was "wrong" with them or the images you were seeing?
What about the other senses? I have none of the 5 in my minds eye. Can you feel the sand of the beach or the suns on your face? Can you hear your daughter's laughter, or taste the cherry chapstick? If you can do any of those distinctly, to where you know for a fact they are in your mind, ie, not wearing chapstick, then apply the same method and/or analysis to the visual. If not even close to similar results, prob no vision, and or whatever senses u test.
I have also used computer monioter as referance. I told my friend it like when the copmuter is on, and the screen is on, but only shows black. It has the glow (imaganation), so I know it works and is working, for whatever reason though, it wont generate an image. And they were prob over defending due to it now being a part of their identity. U attacked it (not on puropus), and depeing how much they want to use it as a crutch, hurt there case. Like if told you, i lost a finger, talk me to the hospital. then you said, well i have a nail in my eye, talk ME tot he hospital. See how u ruined "my story". Now you will get more sympanthy and stuff. In general, yes, austisum is worse. But lets look at this through the lense of death for an comparable anolgy. In general, (my perspective) the loss of a signifagat other, in this case, a (my) wife, would be devastating. Soul Crushing. But so can the loss of a dog be soul crushing. Def not, wife soulmate, life partner death bad, but still....hurts pretty bad. Single btw, never married. Have no idea if loss of wife is actuly wose. But its what i think.
I found out about 7 days ago doom scrolling on youtube shorts. Was perfectly content with my life and the direction I was leading it. Just a random video; highschool boy found out that his friend did not have an inner voice. (no inner voice blew my mind) Played some sort of jingle that implied his mind was blown. Like the memes when you can see people thinking, and people animate complex math showing them trying to calculate, usually something simple. That is what started my mental downward spiral over the last week. Over this time I have learned that I am an extreme aphantaic individual, no sight, sound, touch, smell, or taste. While trying to process all this and what it means, ChatGPT and I (after easily 15+ hours) of "talks" came up with a term to explain my specific thinking style: Dialogicist: An individual whose inner experience is dominated by verbal dialogue and conceptual thinking, instead of sensory or visual mental imagery. My subconscious has been hyper focused on communication, specifically using words (now it's obvious) to express my thoughts and what I am imagining or what I am feeling. Till I was about 12 I was filled with a rage The Hulk would find familiar. Just short of full on fist fights with teachers, grandma, and other students. Almost daily, flipping desks, kicking chairs, yelling, tears, ect, all leading to me shutting down, and refusing all attempts at consoling me or communication. Hindsight 20/20, it was because I lacked the vocabulary or words to express my inner thoughts. Currently not much of a problem, pretty good grasp of language at the moment. (said the wise man who knew nothing) But learning about aphantasia has broken me........ Its like being able to look at my past from an outside perspective. I can literally "see" (connecting dots mentally, through conversations with self, and imagining others for simulated responses) just about every time this has affected my life in a negative way. Kinda like Dr Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, when spirits take him to see/reflect on key moments of his life. This (for me) earth shattering discovery has led to a pandora's box of questions. Think the movie Rio, when Blu firsts finds out he is not the last (in my case: only) one of his kind. I can't explain it very well (yet) but I get this nagging in the back of my mind, that this is my purpose. Its like....in the movie, iRobot, when Sunny asked the question to Will Smith, "Ever wonder if you were made for a specific purpose?". Knowing I am not the only one of my species has not helped. So now that I know yall/others are out there, I NEED to re-figure how different or similar you are to me. Don't overlook that all caps word. I assure you, every word I typed is with intent. Tell me how your inner dialogue works. Do you think in conversations also? Maybe just sometimes? How do you (I am assumeing) overthink? What do you think about. How do you think about it? Do you have to fill in the response because you know nothing will respond? Do you get a response? If so what form; Sound, thought, concept? When you get a song stuck in your head what do you "hear"? Do words matter to you, and if so how much; When in debates or arguments do you ever find yourself arguing about the semantic of a word instead of what the argument was even about? Throughout history, of people who did the worst atrocities, how many had aphantasia? Do people on the other side of aphantasia with mainly vision, have less of an inner voice, which means less of a conscience. Do they not have a Jimmy Cricket in their head? How much do you think this affects the 6 personality types (Alpha, Beta, Sigma, Gamma, Delta, Omega) when developing? Are the best leaders dialogue, or vision based. Since about 90% of the population has the ability to use both, why does 60% seem to favor image? Is it because language, even making sounds, came after eyes? When def people read sign language, does it also produce images? Got some theories on how aphantasia might be an aspect in autism. What impact did my inner dialogue have on my narcissism? Similar question string for confidence, empathy and so on. How imaginative do you consider yourself? What are you thankful for? Anyway, long story short, I'm pretty sure my subconscious has become aware of the conscious and vice versa, which is leading me down a spiraling descent into madness, lol. Fun Fact: I LOVE to talk. And my favorite topic is me. So ask me ANYTHING! All I am gonna do is chilling with my roommate's dog for thanksgiving tomorrow. Both my friends live in other states with their families. Both had healthy babies born a month ago so they will be busy. No family. So I got all day to read everything and respond. Lucky you ;) Anything u want to ask me (does not have to be about aphantasia) and I will try to respond. I am also worried this has triggered some type of suppressed main character syndrome. So, if yall are just like me, and I am just acting like a bitch, LMK. It would be good to know if I am just another person with dyslexia, or if I am the one dyslexic person who can read hieroglyphics. May the Gods Bless you and all your noble endeavors.