Margaret Martinez

"I am 56 years young and have slowly come to realise, over the last twelve months or so, that I have complete aphantasia. I always believed that I experienced vivid visual dreams, but do I? I often remember having incredible dreams in which fantastic and wonderful things happen in fantastic and wonderful worlds. However, I can't replay any of these dreams - but I can remember them. It's as if I've watched a film, say one of those wildly imaginative and intense Marvel films, and can remember what I saw and experienced but cannot re-visualise any of it. I've never had the ability to lucid dream: in fact, on the rare occasions when I have realised I'm dreaming I always wake up immediately. So, while I seem to remember dreaming visually, usually quite intensely and with much detail, I cannot be certain that I actually do. Am I dreaming in concepts, the same way that I think (and I can happily spend hours "daydreaming" in concepts), and imagining that I must have been dreaming visually - or am I actually dreaming visually? I honestly can't tell for sure but it feels like I dream visually. It's hard to explain, but memories of my dreams are like the rest of my memories, which I explain thusly: my memories are like detailed photographs or short films, I know what's in each of them but it's like all the originals are locked away in a drawer to which I do not have a key and so I can never see them again."

"I m 61 and have been an aphant all my life. Although I just discovered the word Aphantasia last month! My dreams are quite sporadic, but they often feel like "anxiety dreams", like one I had last week was of about my daughter being lost and I'm calling to her and following her in various scenarios. The last ended with her treading water in a rapidly moving river and heading to a waterfall and I'm trying to save her. Recently she has not returned my calls in months, so that made sense. I'm flying in some dreams which happened before and after I learned paragliding. I have had dreams of being chased, a few were quite the bond thriller, inducing fear. They feel real until the cut scenes get super weird. Sometimes I wake up sweating. More often in the past months I "wake up" simply thinking about some issues, and realizing I've been thinking pretty coherently for what seems like a half-hour... and I may just stay in bed with my eyes open and continue to ponder it for a while. I have had severe insomnia since I was about 27, so I think this happens when I'm not getting REM sleep and I use medication. Perhaps I am not really sleeping."