PP
Pamela Peak
@ppeak2500
Joined 8 days agoRecently retired physician [2024], ER doc, finally found my diagnoses (ASD level 1--mild Asperger's) and since then have meandered into the Aphantasia diagnosis with online information-gathering.
@ppeak2500
Joined 8 days agoRecently retired physician [2024], ER doc, finally found my diagnoses (ASD level 1--mild Asperger's) and since then have meandered into the Aphantasia diagnosis with online information-gathering.
I didn't know I had significant aphantasia until this year (I'm 62, retired MD). Of all things, YouTube prompted me to take an Autism Quiz, and I thought, "wonder why the AI algorithm is prompting that" and "this should be some stupid fun, and easy to pass this test". I took the quiz. And it said I had a good likelihood that I was Autistic. I was shocked-I didn't have the usual stereotype for an autistic person (I'm female, intelligent, and very well behaved). I looked into it more, read some books along the way, and eventually agreed that I was "Asperger". All the while noting myself and my father being very similar. This discovery seemed to make my entire life make sense now. "Everything!", I kept telling myself. Maybe 6 months later, perusing Autism topics online, I came across an Aphantasia article/quiz from somewhere, it said that autistics have higher rates of Aphantasia, and since I was still trying to figure myself out, and had never herd of it, I read it with interest. Discovered I have basically zero ability. Definite Aphantasia. It truly surprised me, and at first I felt "deficient" because I don't have this ability to see things. But I realise it is what it is, can't be changed. It explains why I don't remember so much of my life, and why I don't really think much about my friends/family if they aren't present/engaging with me. I do still struggle with these discoveries and wonder how much better I could have been in life/career/relationships/etc if there were more tools in my toolbox. I want to find acquaintances from my life that I had hurt, and apologize to them, confessing my diagnoses, and asking their forgiveness. After all, I thought I was normal. I still feel new to all of this and now wonder if I'll remember my retirement years or not. I found this website from a paragraph in the daily "Nature Briefing" email (nature.com), which described a lengthy writing from The New Yorker [[https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/11/03/some-people-cant-see-mental-images-the-consequences-are-profound]] and after that, somehow google got me to you!