Photographer with aphantasia

November 10, 20221 min readByMelody Shanahan-Kluth

So I discovered that I have Aphatasia last year (2021) at the grand age of 66. I had never thought about it before - I know I forget books easily, I can never recall characters names or their situations. I do dream with pictures funnily enough . My husband finds it amusing that he can drive anywhere and I get lost very easily as I cannot visualise where I am.

My biggest oddity though is - I take photographs - I love photography even though I am a rank amateur. If I am asked to think of my oldest son in my head - I can bring to mind a photo of him - a specific photo - but not him - I have found that this works with places and people that I have photos of - it seems that if I have ther photograph I can visualise it but nothing else. Usually there is a big black hole . Oh I hear music all the time - constantly have a tune running through my head which I generally ignore.

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Keith Burch•recently•edited

Hello all, I am now 69 and retired and it was only last year that I first heard the term aphantasia when my youngest daughter suggested that I might have this 'problem' (she appears to be at the other end of the spectrum). She has also very recently pointed me towards the Aphantasia Network so please excuse the length of this post - I have a lot to 'get of my chest'. I have found photography to be a big help both in my home life and career although not realising why until recently. As Melody's post, I cannot picture my wife (of 35 years) in my head but instead I get an image of a certain photograph, although this is always just fleeting. It is similar with our children. In my career as a Structural Engineer I would often need to inspect existing buildings to assess structural problems, report on their condition and propose remedial work. My business partner, whilst carrying out a similar task, would arrive back in the office with a single scribbled sheet of paper and have a report prepared in quick time. However for me this was not possible, requiring me to make copious notes and sketches whilst on site that I would constantly refer to when preparing a report back at the office. Consequently the time I needed to do this work was much greater than my business partner to the extent that I often did not book a significant amount of the time it took for me to prepare these reports. Digital photography was a big help to me once this was available, allowing me to take a huge number of pictures to view back at the office whilst preparing the report. This helped to reduce the time spent on each job to a 'manageable' amount, but I was still not as efficient as my business partner. Feelings of inadequacy at work often lingered in my head, occasionally prompting me to consider abandoning my career. I now wonder what would have happened if I had been aware of this condition at an earlier age - would I have used it as a 'crutch' and avoided jobs where I needed to have a visual recall? (are there any?). At least in my ignorance of the condition (I thought 'minds eye' was just a saying and that everyone else just saw darkness like me) I had to find ways to work around problems. Music has been a happy constant in my life, with tunes and lyrics always invading my thoughts. I can recall thousands of song lyrics just from hearing the start of a tune. I find that I rarely have just one thought train at a time which distracts me from what I should be doing - if I am introduced to someone, I will often instantly forget their name as some other thoughts are going on simultaneously. Once again, my apologies for the length of this post but I clearly had more to say than had occurred to me before I started writing.

Rich Malina•recently•edited

Dear Melody: I suspect that the photograph allows you to revisit and reinforce the memory. I have many childhood memories that are really of family Super-8 films or photos. I saw the films many times, so my memory was reinforced. I still don't have visual imagery of it, but I can remember its aspects as a dialog. I think the movies were especially good at creating long living memories. I am 63, and I have a 65 year old sister, who are aphantasic. We were also victims of a childhood tetracycline side-effect called tetracycline tooth staining, that made our adult teeth turn gray while they mineralized. You are in the age group that may have been exposed to tetracycline as a child. Do you know if you were? I was wondering if there was a link to aphantasia. Warmest regards,Rich

Michael Healy•recently•edited

I'm a professional photographer also. It seems quite common as has been suggested below.

Robert Johnson•recently•edited

Hi, As a professional photographer with both Aphantasia and ADHD (Aphantasia discovered 3 years ago, oddly at at age 66 as well) I find is seriously impacts my work in both positive and negative ways. The biggest negative is studio work. If you can't pre visualize you waste a lot of time, but environmental portraits, landscapes, candids, I believe it benefits me because I do not have anything pre-planned and don't have a vision in my head. I have to shoot what I see. Music and internal monologue? Constant.

Rich Malina•recently•edited

I am 63 and my middle sister is 65. We are also aphantasic. I'm wondering if it might have something to do with our childhood exposure to tetracycline, that caused our adult teeth to gray. Could tetracycline exposure in childhood be linked to aphantasia?

Jennifer McDougall•recently•edited

Hello Melody, thanks for sharing your experience. We hear from many aphants that use photography as a means to collect and retain their memories. Aphantasia seems to have a strong overlap with another condition called SDAM, or severely deficient autobiographical memory. You can learn more about SDAM from Dr. Levine here. You might also be interested in this article on Photography and Aphantasia by Master Photographer Chris Wookey.