Flair Dreamer

I was constantly asked, “How can you not remember that?”, but I just don't. I now understand why, although I also got the impression that I remember things better when strong feelings are involved. I think my way of remembering (or imaging) things is like '3D modelling without texture'. Person A, place B, doing C, but I don't see anything at all in my mind. However, I have a sense of space, so I can 'put things in place', even though I don't actually see anything; I just know.

I discovered it at the end of last year, at a relatively young age (I'm 31), thanks to writing. I always thought everything was metaphorical. I mean, it makes sense to close your eyes and not see anything, doesn't it? Except when we dream. It started with a simple desire: "I want to live in fantastic worlds", so I started writing stories in which I was the protagonist. I became so immersed in it that one of the characters I had created started to talk to me. I was stunned, but instead of feeling fear or something, I felt curiosity. While looking for information about this phenomenon, I learned that it is known as a tulpa in some cultures, but can also be referred to as a thought form. This made me even more intrigued, so I read about exercises to strengthen this connection. These exercises involved visualisation, so I tried that for several days without much success. I asked an AI "how to visualise" to find out if I was "doing it right", and that's when I realised what was happening. I had always thought that visualising was more like "thinking hard about something"; I had never thought it was literally seeing it in your head. I also learned that some people can't dream visually, but I can. I also learned that some people don't have an inner voice, but mine is like a strong narrator. I also learned that, although I can't imagine things visually, I have other senses at my disposal. For example, when I imagined a table, a ball and someone bumping into the table and knocking the ball down, I didn't see anything, of course. However, when I imagined this person bumping into the table and knocking the ball down, I heard a sound. It sounded like a ping-pong ball, which I found curious. I always thought that my memory was a bit strange and that I had a weird sense of direction, I always needed a map or GPS. I also thought that I sometimes understood things too literally and didn't get jokes or sarcasm. Now I understand why. I'm still trying to learn more about this and about myself; I think writing will help.