Macey Fredenberg

I didn’t know that my lack of seeing things in my mind wasn’t normal, mostly because I have very very real dreams. As a child though, I always wondered how they got daydreams “recorded“ from characters on tv. They’d stare off into space, and then play out a scenario that I never quite wrapped my mind around. These people/cartoons/whatever weren’t asleep. How could they dream? I think I started to notice that my brain seemed different when I would try to recall information readings, whiteboards, and my notes during tests in high school. Think “the limit does not exist” from Mean Girls, but I couldn’t see around the people in front of me. I’ve always loved art, but I don’t really draw. As a kid I drew more, but I would mainly draw people, clothing, things like that. It’s not that I don’t have an imagination, it’s more that I (learned much later) need a frame of reference or picture to be able to draw. My older brother is the same, so it never seemed odd. (He, and my nephew also both have aphantasia! My mom tends towards hyperphantasia!) A reel on instagram was the catalyst for me however. I had no idea that people saw actual pictures in their heads. Or saw words. Or heard things, smelled, etc. Talking with my parents, my mom is a slow reader because she sees movies when she reads. My dad can generate pictures and also manipulate them in his head. I was shocked. It still confounds me, but I appreciate more that my “sense” of things being not quite right is a valid sense. It also helps explain why my dreams can be hard to differentiate from reality at times.