@mfahey93
Joined 7 months agoI am a Respiratory Therapist and Polysomnographic Technologist, who is in Grad School for Psychology. My end goal is to develop my own sleep coaching program that takes a comprehensive look at the management and treatment of sleep related disorders. I currently have 5 jobs while I finish up my degree.
I recently discovered I have aphantasia. I cannot actively recall any imagery, my visual mind is completely blank at all times with the exception of the occasional dream. I am not sure if this is related, but I have found that I am insanely empathetic regarding my emotional response towards others, although on the contrary, I respond much more logically towards my own experiences. For example, if someone in a room is distraught (even a random stranger), I physically feel it. It is a visceral response for me to return the emotion. I do not have a say in the matter, which becomes incredibly exhausting, often causing me to seclude myself from others. After doing some research, I have found that individuals with aphantasia are very present oriented since we cannot visualize the past or picture the future. Meaning, we are very in-tune to reading others who are physically present around us. We pick up on body movements, facial expressions, tone of voice. Probably as a survival tactic to exist in society. We cannot remember facial expressions visually, so we become hyper aware of what to recognize in individuals when they’re in the physical (I.e., slight upturn of the mouth, relaxed muscles around the eyes, slight flaring of the nostrils equals contentment). People often ask me if I can “read minds”. It’s abnormal for them but, for myself, being hyper aware of others emotions is very typical and automatic by this point in my early 30’s. But, when it comes to my own experiences, it takes much more to make me feel emotions (besides anxiety and impending doom). I feel this is because I often do not look at myself when I feel something. Alls I have is my racing thoughts and incessant inner monologue which can often make me anxious. I think logically through algorithms. A happened in the past, meaning B is the most probable outcome. I’m not sure if many others can relate. This is just my experience. But if you feel that you can, then please share. It would help me to not feel so alone?