Myra Sontheimer

have have had Aphantasia all my life and SDAM. I recently lost my beloved mother and now its like she never existed. During the death process, when I was with her, I had all of the feelings and tears. When I think of her death now, its distant, like something I read a while ago that made me horribly sad at the time, but I cant recall the story anymore. When I talk about her or see photos I am still not effected by grief. It has only been a few months. My therapist is not educated about aphantasia so I don't really talk much about this. The few times I have tried I can see she does not understand. My husband says it might be a blessing not to feel grief. At the moment it feels like a void and a personal failure.

I get this! It's almost like object impermanence with people. It is tough for me to have conversations with people I haven't seen in a while. I have a bit of phone anxiety because sometimes I can't picture who I am talking to even if they are very close.

YES! I'm always surprised when I catch my reflection. I know it's me, but my visual memories of myself are based on photos I have seen repeatedly. I have never liked looking in the mirror much; it always feels a little wrong. I do 100% know it's me, so this is not a delusion or anything.

Love the video. I have visual dreams as well. Some of my childhood "memories" are visual dreams. My family doesn't remember these events, and it's been a joke in my family that I have two lives. The dreams feel like something that happened to me in my childhood. Most of my childhood memories are directly related to a photograph I have seen repeatedly. Still not a visual memory, but easily described verbally and placed on a timeline.

Hi. I have aphantasia and also do spravato. Yes! I see something when on spravato. I did Ketamine IV for several years before spravato. On the IV I had vivid visual images but it is too costly without insurance. On spravato I see colors that often look backlit I frequently touch my eyes to ensure they are closed. I can change the color and sometimes see a horizon that I go towards. I have been trying to teach my mind to "see" by concentrating on lighter areas or slight changes in texture while under. What I see is weird and only lasts for moments. Last time I focused on light spots and it looked like an old stone wall and another spot revealed the very red lips of a woman. It lasts moments and I can't seem to follow the image as it dissipates into the normal nothing. On mushrooms, I see a Kaleidoscope with color that I don't have control over. I hope the spravato is working for you.